New Kid

I need to do this

Naruto laid in bed all night, he didn't eat dinner and he didn't shower. It's been almost a week since Naruto showered and he can feel himself losing motivation for the little important things like eating.

It was starting all over again and Naruto knew the time was right, he should try and eat something.

Naruto turned on his phone for the first time in one week. It had texts from everyone but Sasuke. Mostly Kiba, however only one text stood out to him.

Kiba; Yo! We went to this wild party last night, Sasuke was the life of the party. Sakura was all over him last night.

Than it was more texts asking if he was okay? What was wrong, all that. Naruto loves how much they cared but also felt bad, because he didn't care about himself like they did.

Naruto stayed in his room the door locked, his head spinning. Sasuke and Sakura are together. That's what he wanted he wanted Sasuke to find someone better.

Great.

Although it was fast, did Naruto mean anything to Sasuke? Of course Sasuke could say the same thing about him.

Doesn't matter! Naruto didn't care. He hasn't eaten in a while and he should probably do that.
Still Naruto didn't move.

Naruto didn't get out of bed, homework was piling up but he had no intentions of doing it.
These past few days he could slowly feel himself drifting away. Into his old habits.

He wasn't getting better.

If he couldn't get better now then who says he can get better later. He can't.

This is a never ending cycle of I think I'm getting better and some how you get worse.

When you have this weight hanging over you, you can't go back to who you were. Naruto made the decision to try and be who he was before the crash. He's not the same.

Naruto didn't know what he was doing, his body said don't but his mind said yes.

He wasn't thinking about anyone, he was thinking about all the pain he would miss out on.

Naruto turned his head and looked at the text. "Yo! Where have you been man? I'm at this party and Sasuke is here. You won't believe this but him and Sakura. I know they're back together and Sasuke is almost back to his old self. Can't tell if that's good not! Text me if you want the addresses"

Naruto smiled sadly, it seemed about right. Well Sasuke isn't gay he's with Sakura. Naruto wanted that but why does it hurt so much? Maybe because he really didn't want that.

Maybe he was just a test dummy. It seemed like he was just being used and at this point his life wasn't going anywhere.

Naruto walked into the bathroom, everything felt so surreal, it was weird. Looking at everything as he walked through the hallway to get to the bathroom.

The bathroom, why is he going to the bathroom. Naruto looked at the walls. Pictures were disoriented, the colors they looked strange.

Was red really red. Why was it red? Why is it called red. What if you've never seen red? Would it mean the same thing. No it wouldn't.

Naruto looked at his feet, he couldn't feel them, they don't look like his feet. Are they his?

Naruto didn't think twice before slamming his foot into the side of the wall. A small hole was left behind. Naruto instantly felt the wave of pain along with relief, he looked down, his big toe was bent and bloody, he broke it.

Naruto smiled and threw his head back laughing.

He ignored the weird colors, the weird images he was seeing, and walked right to the bathroom. He didn't use the bathroom in his room, or the one in his grandmas.

He was sitting in the third bathroom all the way at the end of the hall that only guest use. Naruto walked in he stared at himself in the mirror.

He could see the streaks from someone wiping the mirror with their hands. Naruto's face didn't feel like his, he didn't feel like Naruto. It felt like he was watching himself.

He laughed, and laughed and laughed. What was he doing?

Tears were falling from his eyes, not happy tears. He was crying. He was crying for so many reasons. So many. He couldn't think right now. He needed to do this.

His heart rate picked up and he took out a razor and snapped it in his hand. He needed to make sure this would work.
Naruto took out a pill bottle and poured the pills in his hand, he filled the empty pill bottle with water.

Naruto put all of the pills in his mouth and quickly swallowed them all. He quickly picked up the small blade from the razor and sliced his wrists straight down the middle.

He stood there for a minute watching the color drain from his face, only he felt so hot. His face should be red, red what is red, maybe this color was his red.

He watched the blood fall quickly from his arms, he was falling back but he was still standing. He could feel his feet slipping. He closed his eyes and fell.