This Winter

Chapter 11

How the music sounds at the party. I think the bathroom effect on music sounds cool.

Junior Year

"I need you."

"Noah, what's wrong? Where are you?" My chest is pounding loudly through my chest. Standing up and rustling around in the dark for clothes as I speak to him.

"It's a party.. I-I forgot whose. Please come." Words are slurring together as he speaks and his crying is louder. "Please just come."

"I'm coming, Noah. I'm coming!" He hangs up after that, leaving me in silence.

It's late and my mind is still foggy, so I rack my head to figure out what party he is at. I remember suddenly: It's Darren's, it has to be.

I quickly pull on my pants, still in a rush before I reach my bedroom door.

My mom is asleep, so I have to be quiet. I also have to steal her car without her noticing, because I do not have the luxury of owning my own car, unlike Noah.

Tip-toeing through the apartment, I find her keys placed on the kitchen counter. Without a second thought I grab them and make my way out the door.

My driving is fast and erratic as I make my way to Darren's house. Heart feels like it might burst out my chest and I'm sweating profusely. My thoughts are swirling through my head as I conjure reasons for Noah's crying. I need you.

Darren's house is placed at the edge of the street, far from other houses. Cars are parked in a line down the open road. I park randomly somewhere, not even fucking caring if I'm blocking someone else.

I run into the larger house, only to find myself squeezing through masses of students.

My dark eyes are searching for him. I hear a few voices, tickling my ears with greetings. I don't stop to talk, walking room to room in search of Noah.

"Ethan! You made it!" Darren's holding red cups in each hands. Smiling under the kitchen light when I walk in.

I grimace, trying to force a smile on my face. "Have you seen Noah?" He looks at me curiously, setting the cups down and looking around the kitchen.

"Don't think I have. Hey, do you want a drink?" I shake my head no. It was useless to ask him the question in the first place, clear it's drunk as he picks up another cup in his darker hands and chugs it down.

I ditch the kitchen, finding myself back in the living room and looking for ocean eyes. I feel like time is slipping from my hands, every moment I go without finding him is another he's left alone.

I find strangely blonde hair talking to a guy pressed to the wall. I tap her shoulder and she turns around to face me quickly. "Ethan!" her voice is shrill in my ears.

"Hey, Lindsey." She's ditched the goth face, and now flaunts a denim skirt with a pink sweater. My hand scratches the back of my neck as she gushes about the game. I stop her mid-sentence, "Have you seen Noah?"

She looks slightly taken back by my abruptness, but then furiously shakes her head and points upstairs. "I saw him go up there.. with a girl." She wiggles her painted eyebrows suggestively, and I leave her to go upstairs. Not wasting time.

There is a line of bedroom doors upstairs and I find myself knocking on every single one of them.

I finally knock on one of the painted white doors and it creaks open, obviously left open.

I see the curly haired boy sitting on the bed. Hair messy, shirt off, and jeans unzipped as he sits there, blankly staring at his hands.

"Noah," I whisper softly. His eyes meet mine and they're red with tears.