This Winter

Chapter 39

Senior Year

"Do you have everything?"

I do a once over, patting my pockets and sweatshirt for my keys, phone, and wallet. Giving my mom a nod when I find all the items tucked away into my pockets.

"You're not going to bring a snack?" She asks as she pulls her purse over her shoulder, "What about your backpack? I don't want you to waste extra time going to school."

I groan and kick my backpack by the doorway, "It's right here, Mom."

"Okay, what about a snack?"

"I don't need one. I have cash," I groan again.

"Okay, fine," she huffs, "But I don't want you complaining later that your hungry because you didn't like any of the food."

Without answering I roll my eyes and walk past her to the front door. I atleast have the courtesy to open the door for her, but frankly it's too early in the morning and I want to get to the hospital already.  

"You wake up thirty minutes early then you do for school and you act like a toddler," she huffs.

I still don't answer and begin the metal steps down to our car parked in the lot. Getting in the front seat to drive her while the sun is just beginning to rise.

She takes her seat in the passenger side and passes the time by looking out the window as I back out of the lot.

"Why have you been riding the bus on mornings you don't have the car?" She casually asks moments later as she stares out the window.

Without a second thought I casually lie to her face, "He has to go to school early for yearbook meetings. Obviously I chose sleeping over riding a car."

She nods her head and the conversation seizes. The rest of the ride is filled with silence until we arrive at the hospital thirty minutes later. The clock glowing 6:47 on the dashboard.

When we enter the hospital I feel something close to nostalgia.

I haven't been to the hospital in a while. When I was younger Noah's parents or a babysitter would drop me off at the hospital when my mom was done working. Especially if it was a babysitter so she could save money by running errands with me after work instead of paying another hour or two.

If Mom wasn't done on time I'd spend my time chatting with the front desk attendants or in the break room attempting to convince nurses to give me coffee. It never worked.

"Marla," a woman in scrubs smiles to my mother, "What brings you in?"

"Just a routine hysterectomy. Figured it's about time I up and do the surgery," my mom tells her.

"Well I wish you good luck. I'll go  ahead and sign you in and Linda will bring you back to your room," The young blond smiles to my mom, "I just need you to fill this out first." She slides a clipboard to my mom with paperwork attached.

"Alright," my mom smiles.

The blonde woman scans her computer for a moment, scrolling over a page before looking back to my mom. "And it looks like everything else is set. Doctor Gonzalez's is set to do your surgery."

My mom smiles again to the woman and nods to the row of chairs for us to sit and I find a chair next to the wall for an outlet.

"That's Kelsey, she's a real sweet girl," she informs me as she checks boxes on the medical form.

I nod and slump into my chair, pulling my hoodie over my head and grabbing my phone from my back pocket.

A text from Ashley flashes on the lock screen, her asking where I was.

"Who's that?" My mom hums over my shoulder.

"Ashley," I mumble, "She wants to know where I am."

"You've never had her over. Invite her over sometime I want to meet her."

"Well I asked her to prom so maybe I will sometime," I shrug nonchalant while my mother drops her pen.

"What?" She asks with concern dripping from her words. Her eyebrows knit together as her attention diverts from the clipboard.

"I just thought it would be easier if I went with her and Noah with Ashley's best girl friend," I shrug and go back to texting Ashley where I am.

"Oh."

We don't say anything after that. I'm not sure what there is to say. My situation is obviously fucked and no matter how much my mom wishes for the best, this is the best scenario.

I can't go to prom with the boy I love.

***

Three hours later I'm driving home my barely conscious mother with Burger King fries in my lap, because she was completely right- hospital food sucks and I should've brought a snack.

I laugh knowing full well if she was conscious enough I would get an ear full for this.

When were finally back home and she's tucked away into bed sleeping off the anesthesia, my phone reads 1:38. With only an hour left of school I decide not to go. She's not even conscious to tell me to and the odds of her remembering in the morning are slim.

So instead I chill on the couch. Occasionally texting Ashley about plans for Prom and asking her what dress she's thinking of wearing.

She says green.

Fifteen minutes after five, I check on my mother. She's still asleep when I do, but I leave a pain pill on her nightstand with a glass of water. The pill rests on a note card that reads, 'Gone to the play.'

I feel slightly shitty for leaving her, maybe I wouldn't have if she were awake. There's not much I can do to help or be useful at home, so I conclude it's okay for me to go meet my boyfriend. I did have her permission.

With a heavy heart I leave the house for the second time today. Driving to see Noah at the "play" but really in the backseat of my car in the parking lot.

And as I near the school I feel a lot less bad for leaving my mom and a lot more giddy to see Noah. Feeling especially giddy when I turn the corner to the school and can already see him at the double doors leading to the theatre entrance. A smile plastered on his face when he recognizes my car and an ache in my stomach that I know won't go away until he's in my arms.

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