This Winter

Chapter 17

Junior Year

It was May. It was May and I still had not spoken a word to Noah.

I tried. I tried so damn hard to weasel my way back into his life, but his walls were sealed. Not a single crack for me to slip through. Noah was guarded.

Without sharing classes because Noah was a highly academic student and I was average, I had limited interactions.

He still ate lunch everyday in the library and I with my new table.

I attempted everything to see him again. Inviting him to every dinner, asking him to attend the movies with me, pretending I'm failing a class for him to tutor me.

All that came from these attempts was heart-break.

My thumb glazed over my phone containing endless texts I sent to that boy. A one-sided conversation between him, almost like my unrequited love.

My texts were always urgent, needy, whenever I texted him. Each time hoping that this was the one, that somehow he'll respond. It never happened.

I sat outside of the school. Sitting against the brick walls and staring out into the empty parking lot.

I had missed the bus and since my mom had the car today for work.. I was out of a car and potential ride from her.

I texted Noah, asking for him to come get me... but it was of course useless.

I suppose it was my fault for missing the bus. I had taken my sweet time packing my stuff up in 6th period and then wasted time in the bathroom. I kind of self sabotaged myself.

I guess you could say I did it to catch Noah after his student council meeting (though I denied) but when I exited the bathroom and 'accidentally' wandered to the room of the meeting.

I discovered the meeting had been canceled. Fuck. I really should listen to the announcements.

So Noah was home, unaware that I was foolishly following him. Not very good at it.

I was stuck at 'hell' laying my head against red brick and twiddling my thumbs.

"Ethan?"

I turned to the glass doors to my right, still sitting down as I looked up. A brunette stood, halfway out the door as she looked at me.

"Oh hey, Ashley." Pulling myself up from the ground and greeting her.

"What are you doing here?" Her hands shifting items from one to another. A pair of keys in hand and some type of paper masterpiece.

"I missed the bus," flatly speaking as I continued to look at what she was holding.

"I had art-club," she answers, holding up the paper. Some sort of weird origami star thing that had been painted and transformed into a weird masterpiece.

So she is an artist.

"It looks really cool." A small blush fans across her face as she ducks her head. Not really one to take compliments.

"It's nothing.. I mean- thanks," mumbling under her breath as she fiddles with the paper.

"Ashley?" She pauses her awkward trail of 'thank you', doe-eyes meeting mine as she looks up at me. "Do you think you could give me a ride?"

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she nods, a small smile as she leads me to her car.

***

On Saturday, I'm sitting on the couch. Legs sprawled out as I shovel a bowl of cereal into my mouth and watch 'Spider-man' playing on the TV.

Mom is in the kitchen, shuffling through a pile of mail we've accumulated.