This Winter

Chapter 19

Junior year

I wake up to the jolt of a car parking and Kurtis slamming his door behind him.

Groggily I sit up in my seat, pulling away from Noah where I can only assume my head was resting. My cheek feels warm where it was once pressed to his baby-blue sweatshirt.

Noah doesn't know when he wakes up beside me, rubbing his eyes and looking around. A yawn escapes his soft lips and his eyes catch mine.

Messy hair, flushed face, and lazy eyes make my heart skip a beat. The sun from outside cascades perfectly over his skin, mocking me. Taunting as I have to force myself to look away and ignore my emotions.

Kurtis and Donna are here and I'm teetering on dangerous territory.

I turn to look behind me and see the man through the lined window. He stares right at me, a disgruntled look over his face and then throws the trunk open- blocking my view. My stomach pits.

In a haze I climb out of the car, Noah following behind me. The four of us make a ruckus unloading the van.

Noah's Aunt eventually opens the door to her house. Addie stands behind her, bright eyed and waving frantically. I chuckle softly, slinging my duffel bag over one shoulder and walking towards them.

"Hello, Ethan!" Amelia sticks out her hand for me to shake and when I grab it she pulls me into a hug. "Thank you so much for doing this!"

"Oh, it's no problem," I assure.

Amelia's radiating with happiness, smiles widely and her eyes have a brightness. It's obvious of her excitement for the wedding. A man emerges from the house and one can drawn conclusions it's Frank Parkerson.

"Hello," he introduces. His voice and spirit is peppy as he excitedly looks around. He's incredibly tall as he stands behind Amelia. Dark almost black hair contrasts her light brown hair. A glint of something unreadable when he looks down into Amelia's eyes for a moment and I can only assume its love.

I want that. I want to wear my love proudly on my sleeve for everyone to see.

With that thought in my mind my eyes subconsciously drift to Noah's. He's lugging his suitcase up the sidewalk towards us. His eyes stare at his feet, unaware.

I want to show him how much he makes my heart bleed.

***

Eventually Amelia and Frank leave for their separate hotel rooms tonight. Kurtis and Donna go on their own way, having plans to check into the hotel and do some shopping.

I'm relieved that Noah's parents left early. It had been discussed that Noah and I had full responsibility to watch Addie for tonight and tomorrow, but I still worried the two would stay longer. It felt grueling to stay with Kurtis for so long.

"What do you want to do, Addie?" Noah speaks up, squatting down to her eye-level. Acting seemingly normal as he talks to the six year-old.

"Hmmm.... I- Oh! Oh wait!" And then Addie darts off upstairs into her room, leaving me wondering if I should follow or not. "Stay right there!" She shouts down once she's halfway up the steps and then continues to run.

Noah stands up, brushing his pants from wrinkles. His eyes flicker to mine and then he quickly looks away, returning to an awkward mess. Takes a step away and pretends to be preoccupied with staring at beige carets.

"You don't have to act like that," I tell him bitterly. It slips out of my lips and I immediately want to take it back because I hate confrontation.

"I'm sorry?"

"Like I'm a- a.. I don't know, like you can't even look at me," I struggle to form the words.

His eyes widen and the soften instantly. He takes a deep breath and then starts, "Ethan, I-"

"FOUND IT!" Addie stands at the top of the steps holding a box proudly over her head.

The two of us stop to watch her run down the stairs with the box still above her messy brown hair. Her short hair is messy and static and the box that rests on her head doesn't seem to help the problem.

"What did you find," I chuckle.

With a toothy grin she juts the box towards me. "Pretty Pretty Princess! It's a board game!"

***

Twenty minutes later the three of us are wearing colorful crowns on our heads. Little did Noah and I know the objective of the game was to collect all of the princess accessories and wear them. Trust me, I tried countless of times to take the crown off.

Being the good sport I was, I obeyed Addie's rules. And the game added a lightness to the room, subsiding the tension between me and the blue-eyed boy.

"Oh, looks like you got the.... necklace," Noah spoke, pulling out a blue necklace from the center of the game and handing it to me. I pulled the plastic accessory over my head.

Once the necklace was on I flaunted the blue plastic jewels, matching crown and plastic earrings that were clipped to my earlobes. Addie giggled, tipping back into her chair, making her pink crown wobble on her head.

I could hear laughter ringing in my ears from Noah as well so I continued posing for the two of them, laughing myself.

"Ethan, you're s-such a handsome prince," she spoke through fits of giggles. "Isn't he a handsome prince, Noah?"

I paused for a moment, catching the eyes of his as his laughter subsided. A pause settled as he looked me over.

He smiles coyly and speaks, "Yeah, he is."

A smile stretches over my face and Noah's eyes lower to the table. A yellow crown rested over his wild curls and plastic earrings dangled from his ears. He looks awfully ridiculous but nonetheless beautiful.

"I think you look handsome too." His cheeks redden and his eyes are casted down. He struggles to hide his smile but I catch the dimple on his cheek.

I turn to Addie whose smiling widely and tell her, "And I think you're the prettiest princess, Addie."

She grins widely and then spins then draws her attention back to the game.

In the end she wins, collecting all of her accessories and bragging obnoxiously about it.

I'm going to regret this. Basically I'm having a shitty day.

My math grade dropped to a C and I worked my ass off first and last 9 weeks to have an A... and I end up with a C now?!

We have an exam on Thursday for math (She's only had 2 A's) so I'm fucked.

My laptop died in music and I had to wait until someone was done and rush my work at the last minute. (Probably getting a bad grade)

To top it all off we had a party and basically this guy got really drunk and did some shitty things. This was all supposed to be a private matter my family was dealing with and somehow people know and even though I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT GUYS ACTIONS somehow it's pinned on me. And now I feel disgusting, but it was all out of my control.

I guess it's not really blamed on me but indirectly my parents but I still feel disgusted because it's connected to me. And I feel shitty because my parents didn't intend and the guy who got drunk isn't a bad guy but what he did made him seem REALLY bad.

So now I'm updating this to make me feel better. 🙃