This Winter

Chapter 4

Eighth Grade

Eighth grade rolled around and I had gone through countless of girlfriends. It wasn't like the relationships were deep, I had only kissed one of my many girlfriends and it was just a peck after a date to the movies. Most of my relationships lasted four months, the kiss being my longest girlfriend who I dated for 8 months in seventh grade.

I felt like I had proved my 'straightness' enough for me to finally be single for most of eighth grade. Dating girls was exhausting and I was about done with it.

Noah only had a few girlfriends here and there, but nothing to serious. The pain seeing him with someone started to get bearable but it never seized. I still wished he was mine.

In January, Molly Burke was throwing a huge birthday party in her basement. Only the popular kids were invited to attend and since Noah and I were fairly attractive and both single we were invited.

That was another thing, Molly made a point to invite boys and girls to hype up the party more. There were a few rumors that she had alcohol, but I doubted since her parents were there.

Noah and I rode together with my mom. She gave us a stern talk about being safe and not stooping to peer pressure.

As I had expected, Molly's parents were present in the house, but with her massive basement they let us all hang-out in the basement without supervision. The alcohol was locked up and we were pre-warned that every bottle was counted beforehand so there would be no temptation.

The birthday party still wasn't very PG with the absence of her parents. Molly had dimmed the lights and was playing a few popular rap and pop songs in the larger space. Halfway through the night we started playing Truth or Dare. Amber had to kiss Jared on the lips, Jamie had to admit he peed his bed in fifth grade, and Jessica had to lick the bottom of Amber's shoe. Once that game had begun to get boring we moved on to playing spin-the-bottle, but after it landing twice on two boys who refused to kiss, the game was stopped.

"Hey, Molly, can we get in that closet?" Jessica asked, pointing her pink nails to a closet by the stairs. Molly shrugged and walked to the closet to reveal that only a few coats lined the inside. "Have you guys ever heard of seven minutes in heaven?"

A collection of 'yes' and 'no' was grumbled around the room before someone asked her to explain.

"Basically it's like spin-the-bottle, but instead of kissing you have to spend seven minutes in a dark closet. But this time everyone has to do it, there isn't a get out."

Chatter broke out among us as we discussed rules and gushed about what could happen between two people close in the dark. Jessica pretty much took control over all rules and made the final decisions on how exactly we would go about playing the game. We all gathered back in a circle, wrote names on a slip of paper, and listened to Jessica as she gave the final rules.

Noah tugged on the sleeve of my shirt as Jessica was talking, I tilted my head as he whispered in my ear, "I've never kissed anyone before, Ethan. What do I do?" I turned to face the boy, his eyes frantically searching my face and cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Just do what feels right, besides it's just a small chance that will happen," I whispered back truthfully. I could tell the game wasn't going to be as much fun as anticipated. Many of the girls already objected to kissing being they had boyfriends or simply just didn't want to. Noah had nothing to worry about, but I couldn't help but feel a little happy knowing he hadn't had his first kissed yet.

The game finally started, Jessica pulling two slips out of a hat and naming Jonas and Amber. That first round everyone was bubbling with excitement as they listened in to the closet. To everyone's disappointment all we heard was few muffled voices and when the two returned from the closet it was clear that nothing 'exciting' happened.

A few more rounds passed, each getting boring and boring-er. We had already passed the crazy same-sex partners and decided that it was even more boring then a boy and a girl sharing the closeted space. Nobody found the game particularly interesting, we all listened to music and talked during each of the seven minutes. I was pretty sure the only reason the game continued was so Jessica could get a chance with Matt in the closet.

"Noah and Ethan," Jessica heaved, throwing the slips to the side. My heart rate spiked as I heard those words, but I quickly regained my composure.

"C'mon Jessica, let's doing something else," Molly groaned, throwing her hands dramatically on the beige carpet.

"But we only have two more pairs after them, let's just finish everybody off," Jessica tried to reason, but I still was set on the fact she had a massive crush on Matt.

Noah stood up beside me, gesturing to the closet. I felt light headed as I ventured into the dark with him. I shut the door and heard Jessica through the door yell she was starting the timer, and then it was us.

The closet was a lot smaller than I had expected, our shoes touched together and I could feel his breathe fanning my face. As my eyes adjusted to the dark I eventually was able to make out his face, staring at mine. We were close as we stood together in the closet, just staring at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Well, I guess I didn't need to worry about my first kiss," he chuckled, leaning his head back into the wall. I tried to laugh but with the small pain in my chest I only made out a forced 'ha'.

I hated these seven minutes yet treasured them at the same time. It was wonderful to be this close to him, to stare without being creepy. At the same time though it was torture, to be this close but have to restrain myself. Noah is straight. Noah is straight. You are straight. I didn't find comfort in my thoughts. My chest was still beating fast and I wondered if he could hear it. I wondered if he knew the effect he had on me. I glanced at his lips, then to his hair.

I had always wanted to touch his curly hair and see if it felt as soft as it looked, but I had never had a reason so the time had never occurred. And then I did something stupid, "Hey Noah, can I touch your hair?" Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Umm.. why?" he questioned me, tilting his head to the side.

Shit. Think of something, anything to say. "I've never touched curly hair before." Okay, that doesn't sound to bad.

"I guess," he shrugged and then my hand was touching his hair. It was soft like I had expected but slightly coarser than mine. I ran my hands through his curls once, taking in the moment. Noah looked awkward and confused so I quickly stopped, trying not to cross a line. His eyes were still staring into mine and I felt the heat they held.

It felt like something was happening, like something greater in the universe, beyond my control. Noah was still staring at me and I felt my stomach flipping inside me. I glance at his lips and I felt all self-control slipping from my fingertips as I started to lean-

"Times-up! You're free!" Jessica yelled before throwing open the door and light flooded inside. I blinked harshly at the light and tried to adjust.

I looked over at Noah, he stood there for a moment before abandoning the closet and heading back to the circle of kids. He acted normal as nothing had happened and I wondered if he didn't notice me leaning in, but I couldn't help but have this nagging thought. He was leaning in too.

Do you think Noah was leaning in or is it all in Ethan's head?

Tell me what you thought and vote!