I Ran So Far Away - Complete

Chapter 6

As much as I worried about being in the middle of nowhere with Jack and Millie, as I now knew her to be called, it was better than what Teddy and I endured in the back of the van on our journey here. With only intermittent and rudimentary pain relief, feeding and changing Teddy in almost complete darkness had proven problematic. I could move the heavy curtain a little, allowing a sliver of light into the back of the van from the front, but everything was difficult, and the pain from Teddy's delivery made everything ten times harder. Not as hygienic as I'd like, it worried me that despite my best efforts, Teddy might get sick.

I was also freaked out that if we had an accident, Teddy had no protection. So I sat leaning back against the metal grille separating the back from the cab of the van, cuddling Teddy close as he slept. In an accident, hopefully my body would serve as some sort of a buffer between Teddy and danger. Although in the back of my mind, I knew a traffic accident was the least of our worries. Jack Hyde was crazy and vengeful. A dangerous combination, I knew what he wanted from me, and I wondered how long I had before he demanded it?

I saw the way he looked at Teddy; with contempt at best, loathing at worst. It probably didn't help that my little man was the spitting image of his father, Christian. If Jack hated me, he hated Christian more. It terrified me he might exact vengeance on Christian via our son. But I feared Jack's first priority was me, not Teddy. I could tell he wanted the same thing from me he'd wanted months ago. I could only hope he gave me an opportunity to recover, physically, before he subjected me to the physical and mental torture he fantasized about. Because whatever he had planned, I would be unwilling. I loved Christian, and I didn't want to be with anyone except him.

Now, lying in a single bed, Teddy's hospital crib sitting on the nightstand beside me, in the light of the early hours of the morning I watched as the son Christian and I shared slept. In the three days since his birth, Teddy had already changed. He'd stretched out a little, his limbs loosening up. When he'd slept in the Perspex crib in the van, he'd often jerk and startle himself into wakefulness. In the antenatal classes Christian and I had excitedly attended together before Teddy arrived, the midwife explained swaddling helped newborns feel warm and safe. So as soon as we'd arrived here, I'd taken a throw rug from the end of the bed and used it to swaddle our precious baby boy.

Still in the outfit Christian had dressed him in as I was being stitched up at the hospital, Teddy needed a change of clothes, and so did I. I could hear movement outside my door. They locked Teddy and me in a room with the window stuck fast, so escape was impossible. After the rasp of a key in the old-fashioned lock, Millie came into my room.

"Morning. Jack is still asleep," she announced quietly. "I will make breakfast, but I thought you might need the bathroom first?"

"I do, thank you," I replied. I looked at Teddy's crib. Unwilling to leave him alone, even for a minute, I also didn't want to risk waking him. He'd fed not too long ago, so he should sleep for some time, yet. Instinctively, I knew it unwise to draw Jack's attention to ourselves, yet I was loath to leave Teddy. Even for an instant.

"We can keep the door open?" Millie suggested, pointing across to a door ajar across the landing. The tiled floor suggested it was a bathroom.

"Thank you," I replied giving her a tight smile. I stood, gritting my teeth as I pulled myself into an upright position. Grabbing a maternity pad from the packet Millie had bought me, I shuffled uncertainly toward the bathroom. Relieved Millie did not seem to be in a hurry, I didn't attempt to hurry, because I knew I wouldn't be breaking any speed races. "I'm sorry," I apologized as she walked slowly beside me. "It's hard after the caesarian."

"Does it hurt much?" she asked, with what appeared to be genuine concern.

"Yes," I replied unashamedly. My abdomen ached. Between the pulsing contractions every time I breastfed Teddy, and the pain from where Dr. Greene had cut me, south of my waist seemed to be constantly throbbing.