Life with Demi Lovato

Chapter Five

I was so pumped and excited. I hadn't been this happy since Kenzie.

'Shit, I'm thinking about her again' I thought to myself.

I have to stop thinking about her, I have to move on.

'What are you thinking about?' Demi asked me with a smile as we were packing all of my things into my bags.

'How amazing it's going to be living in LA with you!'

I was honestly so happy. Demi, my idol, my reason for living, adopted me! I couldn't believe it!

As I was packing my things, I saw a note in my draw and my good mood instantly dropped.

'My dearest Nat,

I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye in person. I wanted to wait for you to get back from school but my parents said we didn't have time.

I need you to know that I love you. I really do. From the moment I met you, I knew we had something. You're a beautiful and strong girl and I admire you so much.

You'll find happiness one day, hang in there baby girl.

PS: I've taken all your blades. You're better that harming yourself. Stay strong

~ McKenzie'

I didn't even realise I was crying until Demi came over and wrapped her arms around me.

'What's wrong' She asked, her voice filled with sympathy and concern.

I wiped my eyes, folded the note in half and put it in my pocket. I faced Demi and sighed. She's going to find out about everything sooner or later so I may as well tell her now. It's only fair that she knows how much of a burden I'm going to become before she officially becomes my guardian.

'I think it's fair that you know everything about me before officially adopt me...' I said hesitantly.

'I'm not going to change my mind about adopting you. You can tell me anything'

Her eyes were filled with worry and concern but at the same time, filled with care and love.

'When I was eight, my sister killed herself. Then when I nine, my my parents separated. My dad became an alcoholic and beat up my mum one night. He's in jail now.

My mum didn't really support me so she made the decision to give me up and I've been here for two months'

Of course, I left out the cutting and purging. I can't have her know everything in one sitting.

Some things a better left as secrets.

Besides, Demi isn't stupid. She battled an eating disorder and self harm.

She'll figure it out.

'There's more, isn't there?'

Shit, she's on to me already.

'I'm a lesbian' I blurted out without thinking.

'I'll love you no matter what' she said with smile and hugged me so tight, I could barely breathe.

Then it hit me.. Demi said she loved me.

'She doesn't love you. She's just saying it to make you feel better'

'Natalie, please, we're the only ones who will ever love you'

'Just kill yourself you worthless bitch'

I never get to enjoy anything. Those fucking voices never shut up.

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