Bruno Mars | Natalie, the untold story (Complete)

You're confusing me

Chapter 31

You're confusing me

Two brown eyes starred at me when I opened mine.

Bruno.

My head was hurting and it was hard to breath. I started coughing. My hands grabbed my throat and it felt swollen.
“Here, drink this”, he said without any emotion in his voice. I took the glass of water from him and had a small sip. I could hardly swallow the cold liquid. I gave the glass back to him and he put it on the night stand.
It was dark in the bedroom, the door was open a bit and a little stray of light came peeking in from the hallway.
Bruno sat on the edge of our bed. He didn’t say anything he just looked at me. I turned my head away from him, looking outside the window.
Was it all a dream? What really happened?
I know we had a fight and he got mad. I remembered him punching me. I also could remember I got over to the kitchen to get a towel for my face.
That’s when it all went black. Then I remembered us picnicking at a field with our daughter, but we didn’t had a daughter…
“How are you feeling?”
Bruno’s question interrupted my thoughts. I craned my head to him. I wanted to speak, but no words were able to pass my lips. My throat was too sore to talk. I pointed at my throat and gave him a look.
“I know, go back to sleep. I have to go now.”
That was all I got from him. Then he got up and left me. I heard him leave the house and I was even more confused than when I woke up. I put on the light on my nightstand and tried to sit up. I needed to get some aspirin for my head. Carefully I put my legs over the edge of the bed. They dangled a bit before I decided I could stand up. Boy, was I wrong! I grabbed on to the curtains to keep me from falling. I was too weak to even stand, let alone walk. I decided to crawl my way up to the bathroom.
It seemed like it took me forever to reach the place. I switched on the light so I could see something. I held on to the sink and slowly pulled myself up.
There I was again, standing in front of this mirror. A flashback hit me from the first time Bruno had laid his hands on me and I stood in front of this exact same mirror. I never could have known that that wouldn’t have been the last time. Not to mention, the least worst of them all. I began sobbing, my shoulders were jolting and tears were pouring down to the sink like it was raining. I couldn’t stop it, not even if I wanted to. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Who was I? What had I done to myself? What had I done to the promise I made after Vincent? I didn’t leave my hometown for nothing. Never was a man to hurt me like that again and yet here I’m standing. Bruises all over, pain was aching in my body. But that wasn’t the worst part. I really loved him. With Vincent, it wasn’t love. It was just a thing I grew into. I never loved him, I think I just missed my dad. Or maybe some kind of father figure, I don’t know.
Bruno was something else, I loved him. I needed him, he was my everything. Even though he kept hurting me over and over, I still loved him. He stole my heart, I never stopped loving him not even when we were apart. I couldn’t resist this man. But how do you love someone, that hurts you so bad?
I looked up at the mirror and saw the delineation from his fingers, printed into the skin of my neck. Softly I traced the outlines that were put there by his rage. That’s when it all came back. Flashes of Bruno’s blood shut eyes, his infuriating look and the power of his hands squeezing the life out of me. I grabbed my throat as if I couldn’t breathe again. The feeling I was choking literally came back. I had never felt so scared. He could have killed me!
That was all I could think off. That feeling was even worse than all the other things he did to me. He could beat me up till there was nothing left of me, he could talk down to me until I had no self-esteem left, but seeing him, wanting to push the life out of me, was the most horrible thing I had ever witnessed. The power he had over me was horrifying and the feeling I was helpless was even worse. I could have done nothing to stop him.
But that led me to the question why I was still here? What made him stop? Why didn’t he kill me? He had the power to take my life but he didn’t…
With that question running through my mind I searched for some aspirins. It hurt to swallow them, but I managed to get them in.
 I didn’t had the energy to wash my face or any other body parts, so I left the bathroom with the last strength I had in me.
I didn’t know what time it was, but it was still dark outside and there were no signs of dawn coming soon. I decided to try and get some sleep now that I could. I was a little scared to close my eyes, I didn’t know what Bruno would do when he would get back home. I wasn’t even sure if all of this was real, although it felt pretty real. My mind was messing me up, playing tricks on me. I needed to sleep.
A warm body that placed itself next to mine woke me up. I turned around and I saw Bruno lying next to me. The small opening of the curtains were telling me it became dawn. Bruno had been up all night. He smelled like alcohol and cigarettes. I decided to close my eyes for a little bit and handle the rest later.