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𝐺𝑎𝑧𝑧𝑦 𝐺𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑖𝑎
"Baby, Omar is here," my mom opened my room door, peeking her head in.
"Tell him I don't wanna talk to him anymore, ya no puedo hacer esto con el," I sniffed.
She nodded her head and closed my door. I immediately burst into tears as I started throwing stuff around. This stupid boy stole my heart and shattered it, and I hate that I love him so much. I hate this.
I walked into my closet, grabbing the large box of items that Omar has given me over the years. I miss him so much, but I cant run back to him. Not anymore. I have to move on. It's been three weeks, I need to at least put myself out there. I need to at least start to accept that fact that he's not apart of my life anymore.
I looked through all of our pictures that I got printed out. "I fucking hate your beautiful ass!" I yelled as I threw the pictures across the room. "I wish I didn't love you." I sighed.
My phone pinged from across my room and I walked over to grab it. It was from jah.
JahJah: Hey so Future asked for your number but I don't know where you are with that so do you want me to give it to him or?...
I thought about it for a minute, maybe this could be my chance to move on. I need to move on.
Yeah give it to him.
JahJah: Igh bet.
I left him on scene and began to clean up the mess I made. I have to stop doing this- breaking down over him when he never cared bout me. He treated me so horribly sometimes. He never bought me food without me asking. He was really not that good of a boyfriend. But I still loved him.
I was blinded by what I thought was love. But if that 's the case, why do I still love him?
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I wish he would just talk to me. But I guess I did this to myself. He probably thinks I don't love him. That I hate him even. But I could never hate him. I swear I couldn't.
He's every thing I want and need with so much more. So why would I even do that to him? I hate myself for hurting him. I hate myself for making him cry.
Words can't even sum up how stupid I am. I wish I could take it all back..
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𝗥𝗼𝘆𝗮𝗹𝘁𝘆 𝗚𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲
Jah still hasn't talked to me and I feel so bad for the way I treated him. I just feel bad because you're supposed to put family first and I didn't. I guess good dick will do that to you.
You know what, I know I fucked up. But aint shit I can do now so I might as well just do me.
I sighed as I walked to the kitchen to make me a sandwhich. Right when I turned the corner I ran into Jah.
He looked at me for a minute and then moved around me to go back to Stokes' room I'm guessing.
"Jah, wait," I turned torwards him, hoping to start up some kind of conversation.
"Hmm?" He crossed his arms.
"I'm sorry. You know you were right. I don't have any kind of respect. My dad wasn't around because he died when I was ten, so I never r-"
"Stokeley tries to help you and so does Momma," he said referring to my mom, "I also tried to help, but you just don't appreciate anything. So, I'm done. I'm washing my hands of you. My baby isn't even as childish as you, and he's two!" He sighed and walked away.
"Ja-"
"No, Royalty, just leave me alone, okay." He shrugged and walked away.
I stood in the kitchen numb as tears rolled down my face, "I'm sorry." I whispered to no one.
There's a whole knife in the kitchen, it'll be painful, but not this painful haha.
No.
Or there are pills in your mom's room. Maybe those will be easier?