Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

16. Feeling A Connection

Monday was oddly... normal.

I was ignored by Brie and Emma, Miles made faces at me if he saw me in the halls, and I stayed in art with Jay. Who didn't speak about the one thing my mind was spinning about. Ever since I got home from the mall, I had only shared a few texts with Jay, basically just saying hey, but not really having a conversation. I expected her to talk about the kiss Friday night, but it was like it had been erased from her mind.

It was still fresh in mine, though, like it had just happened, when I saw her in art class. Or whenever I saw her.

Several times, I found myself wanting to bring it up, but decided it was best not to. I had also decided she either, didn't mean anything by it, or it wasn't even real. Thinking back to that night, there were a lot of things I was remembering differently than how I thought I experienced it. I tried listening to the songs, but they didn't sound different like they had before, so I figured it was all just my imagination.

By the middle of the week, I was fairly sure it was real, but I didn't understand why Jay wouldn't talk about it. All I wanted was answers to confirm my thoughts, but I was too afraid to ask, fearing the rejection.

She continued turning in masterpieces to Ms. Russell, and I finally asked how she had so many assignments. Nobody else was doing as much as her.

"I'm entering a contest. Ms. Russell is helping me pick out the best one."

"A contest?"

Jay nodded. "Yup. There's this huge art gallery in San Francisco that's hosting it, I guess, along with a showcase of local artists' work," she explained. "I heard a lot about it, and since everyone knows I draw, nobody thought I'd enter. Or be able to win. But I want to prove them wrong, you know?"

I just nodded.

"What do you think I should do next?" She was on her phone, Pinterest opened as she searched for inspiration. "I prefer landscapes, but I wanna try something a little different."

"A self-portrait?" I suggested, Jay cringing.

"Nah." She looked up, right into my eyes. "Can I draw you? Are you busy after school?"

"Uh, I don't guess." I grabbed my phone, seeing it was Wednesday. Demi didn't leave until Friday, so it shouldn't be a problem, as long as I was home early. I texted both of my moms in our group chat, explaining the contest and how Jay wanted to try to draw me.

They agreed, making me promise to be home before 8, and I told this to Jay.

"Cool," she said with a grin.

~//~//~//~//~//~//~

After we got to her house, Jordan went to his room, sulking. He had wanted to hang out with us, but Jay said she didn't want any distractions.

"He seems so sad," I said, sitting at Jay's desk and spinning the chair to face her on her bed.

"He'll get over it. He's not used to not getting what he wants."

"What exactly is that?" I asked.

She sighed, setting her pencils out in front of her, her sketchbook on her legs. "You, I guess. We talked about it a little bit last time you were here, didn't we?"

I slightly shook my head, as she was starting to draw.

"Oh, maybe I was only thinking about it, or you don't remember. But it's fine. He just likes you and won't admit it. I'm pretty sure he thinks I have some sort of diabolical plan to keep him away from you. I don't really care, I honestly just don't want you getting hurt." I gave her a weird look. "Yeah, I know I should be saying I don't want him to get hurt, but he's a player. I'm not too worried about him getting hurt, by you or anyone else."

I nodded, not wanting to ask questions. It was a brand new experience, having someone like me, but it was a more annoying one that it wasn't the person who I wanted to like me. Did I really just think that? I wondered to myself, trying not to stare at Jay while she wasn't looking at me. She looked so focused, and a little line appeared between her eyebrows as they knit together in sheer concentration. With the pinkish light from her lamp, and her natural look, I didn't think she had ever been so pretty.

No, I said to myself, mentally sighing. It's not like that, and it never will be.

I pushed all my feelings aside, imagining them as physical things, and boxing them up.

Jay told me more about the contest, like how it was in December, as she continued to draw me, until the alarm I set on my phone went off. She put away her pencils and set her sketchbook on the desk while I put my shoes back on and grabbed my bag off the floor. She slipped into some off-brand Uggs and grabbed a jacket and the car keys on the way out.

"I had a lot of fun," she told me, driving me home.

"Yeah, me too," I said. I hadn't said much, but part of me knew that as long as Jay was there, I would have a nice time. "Is the drawing done?"

"Almost. But I actually snapped a pic when you weren't paying attention, so the lighting wouldn't change when I start shading. I'll probably finish it tonight and show you tomorrow."

"Okay," I said, unsure what to think about her sneaking a picture of me. Could it mean more than what she implied? I doubted it, but the feelings I had mentally stored away were practically bouncing with excitement.