Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

40. All You Need To Save Me Is To Intervene

"This is gonna be a lot," Jay said, wiping her hands down her skirt. "Okay, well, that day when we were at Paige's house, when she and Jordan went upstairs, I found them snorting cocaine. And I think I yelled at Jordan... I thought he had quit. He almost died last year, after the bitch got the abortion. He was just so torn up, and she never wanted to be seen with him. But he said he quit." She took a breath, looking like she was about to cry.

I placed my hand over hers.

"I don't really know for sure, but I think Paige got him into it again, if he ever actually quit. But that's what she was doing in the bathroom, if you didn't figure that one out. Oh, and the time the three of us were hanging out in my room, when Jordan left, he snorted some. He didn't tell me, but he wouldn't have done what he did if he wasn't on something."

I tensed at the memory of Jordan coming at me and how Jay threatened him. She noticed and covered my hand that was on hers.

"Is there anything else you wanna ask? Now that everything's on the table?"

I had so many questions and thoughts swirling in my head, but I made myself focus on one at a time. They would all get answered. "Why didn't she wanna be seen with him?" I asked, curious.

"Her precious reputation. She's more obsessed with it than Taylor Swift," she said, chuckling dryly.

You were ruining my reputation.

I nodded slightly, thinking of what to ask next.

"How long have you been taking Ritalin?"

Jay let out a sigh and her shoulders dropped. "I don't know, maybe a little less than a year?"

"Why? And don't say they help." I hated my tone, but my anger had resurfaced.

"They just help me focus. It's like weed, but it takes longer to come down. I don't even take them that often."

"And you're not worried about them being laced with something?"

She looked confused, like the idea of pills being laced was absurd. "I didn't think I needed to worry about that. The kid has ADHD and he has nothing against me," she said. "He just wants to make some money."

I sighed, deciding to drop the subject for now.

I did what I had to do.

Several minutes passed in silence, and I wanted to ask why she didn't tell me, if it was because she didn't trust me, but she spoke again.

"Remember that time I wasn't in school? I had taken an extra one and I ended up staying up all night and then I crashed after cleaning half the house." She chuckled, but stopped herself when she realized I wasn't laughing.

She only cares about herself.

"Are we okay?" she asked after another brief silence.

I nodded, leaning over and hugging her. I heard her sniff and pulled back to see tears filling her eyes. "Just promise me you'll stop."

"I will. I'm sorry I never told you, I was just kind of ashamed and I didn't want you to be mad at me."

Smiling, I rubbed the back of her hand. "I could never stay mad at you for long. You need to be honest with me..." I trailed off, thinking of my next question. One I feared the answer to. "Have you ever done it? Cocaine?"

She quickly shook her head. The gesture was defensive, but I believed it when she said she never tried it.

"Why not?" I asked. Even though I believed her, I wanted to know why she had never done it.

She shrugged. "I remember Jordan asked me if I wanted to try it. This was back before the scare. But I said no. It just didn't interest me."

I exhaled deeply, realizing I'd been holding my breath. It seemed like we'd been lucky that Jay only liked weed, which wouldn't kill her, and Ritalin that hadn't been laced. I just hoped she kept her word about quitting before something happened. I couldn't imagine what she'd gone through emotionally when she thought she was going to lose Jordan, and I didn't want to have to go through it with her.

Her precious reputation.

"How come you never told me about Paige and Jordan doing it?" I asked, seeing her stiffen at Paige's name.

"I didn't think it was something you needed to know about Jordan. If he wanted to tell you, he could've. Paige, well, same story really, but I didn't think she had been doing it for as long as she was."

My brow furrowed slightly. "How long?"

"It was before she started going out with Sean. I... I kinda found a journal she wrote in. It wasn't much, but she wrote about the first time she did it, and about the time she did it with Jordan, when I caught them. But, yeah. I don't really know what to think about all this. I wish she would have come to me, or anyone and gotten help."

I squeezed Jay's fingers, and she moved so that we were holding hands.

Brie.

The voices floated through my head quickly and I let out a gasp. I had figured it out before, but had forgotten until now.

"Um, I think I know who it is," I said earning a questioning look from Jay. "Brie. But I don't get how she was able to hide all that. Then again, we weren't friends by then, so I probably didn't pay much attention to what she did."

"That little edgy wannabe?" Jay said. "Shit. Yeah, now that I think of it, when I see her, she gives me a weird look. And she looks at Jordan like she wants to kill him or something. Like, she's the one who decided to abort the baby, and I doubt he got her pregnant on purpose." She shook her head, looking towards the door. "I gotta stop or I'm gonna end up at her house."

"I love you," I said, staring at the side of her face.

Her head snapped around so she was looking at me again and I was gazing into her dark caramel colored eyes. "What?" she said, and I wondered if she actually hadn't heard me.

"I love you and I'm happy we're together," I said, taking both of her hands in mine.

Her face softened and she squeezed my fingers. "Rosabella, I love you too. I swear, I've never met someone who cares so deeply for me. You're too good for me, and I'm kinda worried you'll find someone better." She laughed nervously, head and shoulders ducking.

"I would never. And I'm not too good for you. I'm perfect for you, and you're perfect for me."

She laughed, looking away again. Finally she met my gaze again. "I love you so much. I have to get you something really good for Christmas."

We hugged, me smiling until I realized my plan to get Jay her gift was going to have to be rethought. A tear escaped my eye as they closed and I held Jay a little tighter.