Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

45. There's Nothing Wrong With Staying Home

Tess brought a large backpack and I asked, jokingly, if she was planning on moving in. She just shrugged as if the idea was one she was considering. I shut the door behind her and we went to the kitchen for snacks.

"You can have pretty much whatever, but Maia will fight you if you touch the dark chocolate," I said, wishing I was kidding. Maia got very protective and it was scary.

Tess laughed, grabbing an entire box of Hostess cupcakes and a bottle of water. I grabbed chips and a soda for myself and led Tess up to my room.

"I forgot how pretty your house is," Tess said, dropping her bag on the floor and kicking her ankle boots off. "Literally, I couldn't stop staring."

"Thanks. It's really all Demi and Maia, though."

She glanced around my room. "Yeah, because your decoration skills are lacking."

"Hey!" I grabbed a pillow and tried to hit her, but she lifted her arm in time and the pillow fell to the floor. "Seriously, though, what did you bring?"

"Enough for a couple days," she said, then pressed her lips together. Behind her bloodshot eyes, and dark circles, I knew there was something she wasn't telling me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Her eyes closed and I noticed how pale she looked. And how tired she seemed. "Okay, my parents just want me out of the house more. They think that I don't get out enough and that I spend all my time in my room."

"So spending time in someone else's house is better?" I asked.

"Apparently," she said, sighing at the end. "Do you think Demi and Maia would mind?"

I shook my head and said I'd ask later.

Tess nodded slowly, eyes moving to the TV and Xbox setup in front of the bed. "Mind if I play Minecraft? I've had an idea for something I wanna build. Plus it'll keep my mind off..." She trailed off as I handed her my controller, turning the TV on with the remote in my other hand.

For a while, she played in silence while I watched a mansion being built, wondering exactly what Tess was about to say. Keep her mind off of Paige? I didn't want to ask.

"So what's up with Jay?" Tess finally asked once the first level of the mansion was done. The controller's battery was low, so she grabbed the cord and plugged it in before setting it down on the bed and facing me. Her dark circles were more noticeable because she wasn't wearing makeup. Her cheeks looked more hollowed out than normal too. I knew Paige's death was taking its toll on Tess, but I didn't think it was this bad.

"I don't know. Maia found her bowl and now I can't see her until school starts."

"Oh, shit. I knew something happened, but she wouldn't answer me." Tess yawned, grabbing the controller again to work on the steps and second level.

"Do you think..." I trailed off, my thoughts getting the better of me. I worried Jay was still taking that kid's Ritalin, but wasn't telling anyone.

"Think what? She's doing drugs? Probably not. She doesn't even smoke when you're not with her. She told me that a while ago."

I blinked, wondering why she was so quick to think I was going to say something about drugs. Did she know something I didn't? Had Jay lied to my face?

I didn't have much of an appetite, but I munched on some potato chips so I wouldn't fidget.

"That's looking really cool. And you're much faster than me," I said, earning a small smile from Tess.

"I've literally been playing this for so long, it's like second nature. Do you wanna help?"

"I'll probably only make things worse, so I'll just watch and eat my chips."

She laughed, and it seemed genuine. I wondered how many smiles and laughs she'd faked since Paige died.

We fell into another silence, this time with the crunching of chips and blocks being placed and broken, and I watched as Tess's mood shifted from somewhat happy to depressed. She ended up saving and quitting, setting the controller down and scooting back on the bed, laying flat and staring at the ceiling.

"Tess? What's wrong?" I asked, brow furrowing with concern.

"I don't know. I just miss her so much. She was my best friend, and when I saw her in the casket, it just... it hit me that I'd never see her smile or hear her voice ever again. She was so full of life, so it was just... so wrong to see her... not alive." She covered her face with both hands and started crying.

I felt horrible because I couldn't console her, but her tears stopped soon after and she sat up to grab a tissue from the table next to my bed.

"I... I wanna dye my hair. For Paige," Tess said after she blew her nose. "I'm not gonna do what she wanted, but can you see when Abby can do it?"

I nodded, making my mind up. "I'll have her do mine too. Blue on the ends."

Tess smiled. "Text Jay and see if she'll join."

I gave a small nod, grabbing my phone as Tess continued blowing her nose.

Me: Hey Tess and I are dying our hair in Paige's honor. Wanna join?

I then texted Abby to see if she could do it before school started, and she answered saying she could.

"So what color are you doing?" I asked Tess, still waiting for Jay to answer.

"Not sure. I'll probably look online for ideas." She found her phone and began scrolling through Pinterest while I waited, searching for Jay's gift on my private browser.

"Hey, Tess?" I said, glancing over at her, her choppy blonde locks spread out around her head. "I was wondering if I could ask a favor."

"What's up?"

I explained how I wanted to get Jay a new pipe, but I couldn't have it delivered to my house, and she quickly and happily agreed to have it delivered to her house.

"I really like hanging out with you," she said later that night after Demi and Maia agreed to let her stay in one of the guest rooms. They later came to me, wondering if something was going on at home, and I told them what Tess told me.

She didn't even let me say anything, pulling me to the bed and asking to see what I was planning on getting Jay.

"I honestly have no idea," I said, handing her my phone. "But, you know her hollowed book? I was thinking about getting her something like that, except it's like an actual box. Inside of the book."

Tess nodded, scrolling past some bongs. "She would definitely like that. But these," she said, showing me the screen. "Anything red and black."

"That's clear," I said, pointing to the glass pipe she was showing me.

"Read it."

My eyes scanned the short description and my mouth dropped open. "The-The stuff makes it change color?" I asked, probably sounding like I know nothing about anything.

Tess laughed. "Yes, the stuff changes its color."

My cheeks felt hot and I took my phone back to place the order. "I can't think of words sometimes."

"I can tell."

I finished filling out everything and gave the phone back to Tess to put her address in.

Tess and I talked for a while longer about how Jay was still getting my gift as we looked for book boxes. We found a set of three and I ordered them.

"Wouldn't it be funny if she got you something like that too?" she asked, looking at decorative pipes on her phone. "Like this one," she said, showing me a pale pink pipe with roses on it.

I rolled my eyes, Tess smiling. "I guess we'll see. If she ever answers me," I said, checking my texts for the hundredth time that night.