Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

49. My Heart Is Falling To Pieces

The next day, I felt better because my clothes were fitting right, but when I got to school, I only saw Jay, Jordan, and Isaiah waiting for me outside.

"Where's Tess?" I asked, adjusting the straps of my backpack.

Jay shrugged. "She hasn't messaged me, or anyone, since yesterday." She was staring intently at me and we went inside, leaving the guys. "Are we okay? You seemed really upset with me, so I just wanted to make sure we're good."

"Yeah, I just didn't have a great day." I honestly didn't remember much about my day, I just knew I had seen Tess looking more upset than she should have when her water bottle was empty.

I sat through my first period, doing my best to ignore Brie's hateful glare and Emma's expressionless face. The rest of my classes were more bearable, aside from study hall, since I didn't have Paige to talk to. My double art class wasn't productive, as I just sat there, staring at the paper I had started my drawing on. But I couldn't get myself to pick up the pencil and continue.

Jay noticed this when she came in, and I was sitting perfectly still, not doing a thing.

"Hey," she said, gaining my attention, which no one else had been able to do. "That looks the same as it did yesterday. What's up?"

I just shook my head. "I just feel like something's wrong. And I'm not looking forward to study hall."

"Yeah, I get it. Well, what do you wanna do? You think something's wrong with Tess?"

I nodded.

"We can head over to her house after school. She still hasn't messaged any of us. I'm starting to worry, too. I just... I don't wanna believe something's wrong."

We were silent as I continued to stare at my paper and Jay worked on another landscape. This one was a log cabin in front of a lake, a sunset reflecting on the water. Her pencil scratched roughly against the paper, brow furrowed in concentration. I watched the little dimple in her cheek as she sucked in her cheek, something I noticed she did when she was really focused on her work.

I looked away, and regretfully looked at the door where Miles was walking by. Looking right at Jay.

~//~//~//~//~//~//~

After school, the four of us got in Jay and Jordan's car, the guys in the back, but not complaining for once. Jordan didn't look as pale and sickly as he had in the past couple months, and I could only hope his drug days were past him. As for Isaiah, he was the same. I never saw him do anything other than smoke weed, drink occasionally, and he never took his prescription with it, but I knew weed and Xanax wouldn't be bad. He had smoked before taking his medication, and he was more mellowed out than normal, but he was fine.

It was Jay I was still concerned about. She seemed more energized most days, then she would be more depressed later in the day, which she passed off as being tired, or thinking about Paige.

We arrived at Tess's house, her parents not appearing to be home.

Jay opened the screen door and knocked on the wooden one, Jordan peering in through the window beside it. Jay looked at him and he shook his head.

She tried the door, turning the knob aggressively, but it lurched forward with her arm. "What the..." she muttered, leading the way into the small house. We only had to take a short glance around to see that Tess wasn't in the kitchen or living room. Down the hall, there were a few crumpled tissues on the floor, leading from the bathroom to Tess's room.

The dried, red substance on them was unmistakable.

Jay's mouth dropped, eyes widening, and already glazed over as she screamed Tess's name. She jerked the handle, bursting into the room, Jordan and Isaiah stepping closer to me to see Tess inside, laying still on her bed. My eyes scanned the surrounding area, seeing blood dripping from her arm that hung off the edge of the bed. I gasped, clamping my hand over my mouth and arms wrapped around my shoulders, Jay sinking to her knees next to the bed, sobbing.

The arms let me go and Jordan went in, looking sadly at the spilled, peach colored pills on the floor. He looked at Isaiah, anger evident on his face.

"What?" I whispered, looking at Isaiah.

He licked his lips, trying not to cry. "That's my Xanax. I didn't give it to her."

Jordan snapped his glare away to the desk, picking up a piece of paper. Jay's screaming sobs filled the room.

"Call an ambulance!" she yelled, turning her head towards her brother. "Don't-A note?" she asked, cutting herself off.

Jordan just nodded.

"Read it," she whispered, sitting back and pulling her knees to her chest. I finally entered the room, and sat next to her, hugging her. She looked completely numb as Jordan read Tess's note.

"'If you're reading this, I'm sorry. But I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to be strong for Paige, but I just can't. I can't do this. All these voices in my head... I can't take it. It's my fault. Maybe not completely, but she was my best friend. I didn't help her. So they told me I don't deserve help. And they're right. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss her so much. I have to do this, I just hope it works this time. I stole a bunch of pills, Isaiah, but I still woke up and went to school the next morning. That was yesterday. I knew I couldn't fail this time. I can't do this. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.'" Jordan's voice had cracked a lot as he fought tears.

Jay and I were both sobbing on the floor, Isaiah crying quietly, sitting in the chair. I heard the paper flutter to the floor, and then Jordan yelling.

"This is all your fault!"

Isaiah didn't even move. It was almost like he was ready to take the blame, like he wanted Jordan to hit him.

Jay jumped up, getting between Jordan and Isaiah. "Jordan, stop. Now is not the time for pinning blame. It's none of our faults." She swung her arm out, gesturing to Tess. "Hell, if anything, blame all of us, including yourself, because we didn't know what was going on." Her arm dropped back to her side and she looked at me as I was standing up. Tears were streaming down her face. "Some-Someone call an ambulance. I'll call her parents."