Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

29. I Am Done With Your Twisted Symphony

Jay: Where are you?

Jay: Are you ok?

Jay: I miss you... I hope you're ok

I had several messages like this from Jay on Monday. They slowed down after Tuesday morning when I saw her in the hall but didn't stop to talk. After art, I went to lunch. I thought I saw Jay, but I didn't stop to really look. Whoever it was looked confused and I forced myself to not think about it.

As soon as I walked into the cafeteria, I stopped in my tracks, eyes wide as I realized how many people were there. I had gone to the lunchroom during the first few days, but I guess I had forgotten how crowded it was. And loud. I was definitely going to have a headache by the end.

I sucked in a deep breath, looking away from the line. There was no way I could stomach eating right now. Glancing around, I found a vacant spot near the door and I plopped my bag on the table top, sitting down, keeping my eyes on the students the whole time. There was a heavy pit in my stomach as the seconds ticked by. My phone became my best friend while I tried to ignore the clock at the top and played my mindless games.

"Look, it's the freak, Lovato."

My head was down, hand in my hair, eyes widening when I heard Brie's voice and laughter.

"What, your new girlfriend ditch you today?" Miles sneered, sliding into the seat next to me.

"N-No."

"Cat got your tongue?" he asked, Keely slowly sitting across from him and avoiding my eyes. Brie sat down next to her. In front of me.

"What do you want?"

"I want a lot of things," Brie piped up. "Like you to stop thinking you're better than everyone because of Demi and the fact that you're gay now."

I couldn't speak for a moment as I processed what I just heard. "I don't think I'm better than anyone for any reason." Thank God I didn't stutter that time. This couldn't get any worse.

Miles stood up, gesturing for Keely to follow him. She jumped up, scurrying after him like a lost puppy. Brie watched them, and for a moment my hopes were up that she would go too, but she didn't. She turned back to me, her face completely emotionless.

"I never did anything to you," I said, finding some courage to sound... not scared to death.

"No, you didn't. Not really, but you were ruining my reputation that I've been working on for years. So I did what I had to do."

My mouth hung open slightly at her confession.

She stood up and I held my breath as I waited for her to leave. Which she did. I let go of my breath, looking down at my phone again. My heart was racing at this point, and nearly stopped when someone shouted out my last name.

I started to say "What?" but nothing had time to come out as something came flying at my face. Unlike the paper ball I'd been able to dodge, I didn't dodge this object. It took a split second to register that my face was hot as a slice of pizza fell to the floor, me jumping up out of my seat, screaming out in pain. I grabbed for the strap of my bag and ran out, wiping my face with my hands so I could see where I was going.

In the bathroom, tears of pain and embarrassment streaked down my face as I washed off the pizza sauce. When I was done, my face was red. Very red. I touched a spot on my cheek, wincing. I wet some paper towels with cold water, pressing it to my face as my hiccupping started. People could probably hear it from the hall, but when I got emotional, I hiccupped, and it wasn't cute, nor could I stop it.

I had been an emotional child, but I didn't cry anymore unless something was really bad. And even then, I tried to hide it as much as possible from the fear that had been instilled in me.

The man who had killed my mom always thought I was too sensitive and weak, one day he yelled at me. From then on, I kept my tears in my eyes, rarely letting myself cry even when I was alone because I didn't want to be weak like he said I was.

Before I could stop it, I was forced into the memory, pressing more paper towels to my face to ease the burning pain.

"Where is he?" almost thirteen-year-old me asked loudly.

"I don't know, Rosie," my mom said, already done with my whining, her pupils large.

I was sobbing loudly as I realized my favorite teddy bear was gone. Call it childish, but he was the only thing that made me feel safe in this house. I ran to my room, sitting on my bed and continuing to cry.

"Rosie! Shut the hell up! You don't need that damn bear anymore." His voice was loud, and I looked up to see him in my doorway.

Tears flowed and I whimpered as he glared at me.

It was then that a choked hiccup came from my throat. He stared at me for another moment, eyes narrowed, before he walked away, muttering something I couldn't make out.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing the heels of my palms into them until spots of color floated around the darkness. I stayed like that until I was calm. When I looked back at the mirror, my face was redder than before. I wet it and dried it before going into a stall to hide until the end of the day.

If only I had been that lucky.

The intercom clicked on and Stricker's voice loudly came through.

"Rosie Lovato, please come to my office. Rosie Lovato."

It turned off with a staticky click, and I sighed loudly, gathering my bag and making sure my phone was in my pocket before heading to the office where I knew my day was about to get a hundred times worse.

Brie was already sitting in front of Stricker, looking bored.

"Rosie, sit."

I did and Stricker turned to Brie. "Is there something you'd like to say to Rosie?"

I tried to hide my surprise that I wasn't being chewed out.

"No," Brie said firmly. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"An anonymous source claims otherwise." Stricker faced me, knowing Brie wouldn't talk. "I heard about what happened in the lunchroom, and I'm deeply sorry." Again, it was hard to hide my surprise. "I want you to know you're not in trouble, but Brie is. I've already suspended her. For how long, we'll have to see."

I left the office, relieved, but went back to the bathroom instead of class, when I saw Miles in the hall, his arm wrapped around Keely. He was smirking and it made my face burn. I could already feel tears wanting to come out, so I went into my trusted stall, locking it before sitting in the corner and cried.

This time, I didn't hiccup at all.