Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4

13. Just Something That We Wanna Try

"I can't stay the night," Paige said with a frown, setting her phone down.

"That sucks," Jay said, cheeks red as she took her seat again.

In that one moment, the entire game had been forgotten. It was also then that my mind was racing with the thought that Jay had made sure it was okay with me first, and also how much I had been looking forward to it. My first kiss, I realized. And it was cut off by a text. I tried to not show my disappointment about it, and my attention was gained quickly when I heard Paige say something that didn't quite make sense. Then again, nothing any of them said made sense sometimes.

"Are we gonna do the thing?" Her eyebrows were raised slightly.

Jay let out a sigh. "I'll think about it. I still don't know yet."

Something about her words sounded familiar, but I was still thinking about how I had almost gotten my first kiss just minutes ago.

"When are you gonna know?" Tess asked, on her phone now.

Jay ignored her, instead looking at me. "Do you remember when I called Jordan an idiot, like, last week? And I said I would explain why?"

I nodded slowly.

"Well, there's actually a couple reasons, but one is a story for another time." She got her phone out and came back over to me on her knees, showing me Jordan's Instagram page. "This is what I meant," she said, and I saw several pictures of Jordan either with smoke coming from his mouth or nose, or actually smoking. I didn't see the problem at first, but then I saw a few pictures of him holding bottles of alcohol and not a single cigarette in sight.

"It's legal here, in California, but we can still get in trouble at school," Jay said. "The reason I didn't tell you before is because I didn't know if I could trust you not to rat on us. But..." She paused, getting up and kneeling in front of her nightstand and pulling out a book.

What...? I couldn't even process what was happening as she opened it, and I saw that it was hollowed out. There was a plastic bag rolled up and folded along with some bobby pins and a pocket knife. The last thing I saw was a pipe, and I knew from living with my mom and her boyfriend, that it was for weed, and that the dried up leaves was the weed.

My breath caught in my throat for a second.

"So..." Jay started. "Do you want to try it?"

I didn't know what to say. I had been around weed and worse drugs my whole life, and I made a vow to myself not to get involved with it. However, I also knew that if I refused Jay right now, they would all think I was a narc, and I would probably tell Demi and Maia as soon as I could. Which I wouldn't do, because it's not really my business, but they didn't know that.

Hesitantly, I agreed, knowing it could be worse. Cocaine, heroin, meth. The stuff that could actually kill you. From what I had seen firsthand, weed was nowhere near that bad, but I reminded myself to be careful. My mom had gotten some that had been laced with something and she had a seizure from it.

I watched as Jay packed some of the loose flakes from the bottom of the bag into the glass bowl. I hated myself for knowing as much as I did, but I couldn't help it. The walls were so thin I heard everything, and sometimes I was in the room.

"Do you have a lighter?" Jay asked me, holding out a black one to me.

"I don't carry lighters around, no," I replied, taking the bowl and lighter. Jay started to show me how to hold it and tell me about the choke, but I shook her hands off. I sort of regretted it, because her hands were warm and soft, but I didn't want her showing me stuff I already knew.

"Whoa," Paige mumbled as I lit the weed and inhaled.

"How?" Tess asked, watching me release the choke at the right time.

All my secondhand knowledge of what to do didn't help with how much to take in to prevent a coughing fit. Because that was exactly what happened. I began coughing my head off and Jay took everything out of my hands. I reached for my drink, chugging the last little bit, and coughing a little bit more, until I stopped, eyes watering.

"Shit, dude, you could have said you've done this before," Jay said.

"I haven't. I was just around it my entire life. But nobody ever told me how long to light it or breathe in," I told them.

Tess said she was getting all of us refills, so we waited for her to come back.

After she took her hit, I asked, "Your parents don't care that you do this?"

"They care in a get-your-shit-done-first kinda way," Jay said, pausing to take her hit. She passed it over to Paige, then added, "Then we can do what we want on weekends."

Tess snorted. "Well, some of us can do what we want."

"What-What does that mean?" I asked, wanting to pass, but knowing I couldn't. At least two more, then skip one, I told myself.

Jay waited until I was done, small coughing fit included, to explain. "The other reason Jordan is an idiot?" she began, and I nodded. "Well, one weekend, about a year ago now, he had this girl come over. She kept telling me they were taking it slow, but girls don't just date Jordan and not have sex. Like, TMI, I'm sorry, but it's the truth. So our parents were out late and they went to bed in his room. Long story short, she had an abortion a few months later and now Jordan isn't allowed to have girls in his room, like at all."

"Oh, um, wow," I said, not knowing what to say.

"Yep." Jay glanced up at me, smiling. "You feel okay?"

I nodded, watching her hair shine in the dimmed light. It had started to get dark, so we had a lamp on, which emitted a pale pink glow from the lampshade. It gave Jay's black hair a pink sheen, and I found myself unable to look away from it.

"She's good," Paige said with a laugh..

The next thing I knew, it was my turn again, and I eventually forgot to skip when I said I would.

Paige announced that her mom was on the way to get her, and I took this time to skip my turn and drink my soda.

"Are you good to stay?" I heard Jay ask. I thought she was asking Tess, but she was asking both of us.

"Let me check, actually," Tess said, and began texting.

"Uh, same." I pulled out my phone and unlocked it, then immediately forgot what I was doing. I saw a text from Demi saying she and Maia were going to bed early and had to talk to me when I got home. She said she hoped I was having a good time and finished with her usual "I love you." I didn't reply, since they were probably already asleep, locking my phone and setting it back down. "I'm good," I said.