22. I'll Never Be The Same

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I later realized that Paige and Jordan hadn't shown up to school. I was still on cloud nine from my encounter with Jay in the stairwell, so I didn't think about it too much. What I was thinking about, however, was if Jay and I were officially dating.

When we kissed, it wasn't as intense and passionate as the one where we finally admitted our feelings for each other, but it was obvious we were more than friends now. I wanted to ask about a label, but it seemed too soon.

"Can you stay the night at my house Friday?" she asked on Tuesday.

"Probably. Why?"

She shrugged vaguely. "Just had an idea." She smiled, and I felt myself getting sucked in by her charms. It was also that smile that told me what she had in mind.

"Sure, sounds fun."

The rest of the week passed, Jay and I seeing more of each other before school and between classes. We got a lot of looks, but neither of us paid them any attention. When she was around, I didn't see anyone else, not even Miles, and he stared like we were the main attraction at a freak show.

Abby agreed to do anyone's hair whenever, and Maia let me go to Jay's house without a second thought. It was strange to have a longer leash, so to speak, but it was also nice not having to deal with a round of twenty questions with Demi.

Jay let me put my small overnight bag in her car before school and then drove me and a grumpy Jordan home afterwards. Nobody talked about why he and Paige weren't at school on Monday.

We ran into Jay and Jordan's mom, Mariah, as we got some drinks from the kitchen. I had met her before, but didn't really know her, or their dad, Jordan Sr. that well.

"Rosie, hi," she said. "Nice seeing you again. You know, Jay has not shut up about you-"

"Okay, Mom," Jay said, covering her mouth. "That's enough, now." They both laughed. "We'll be in my room."

"I'll call you when dinner is ready," Mariah called after us.

We passed Jordan's room, but he followed us to Jay's room. She gave him a look. "Come on, Jay. You know Paige has my shit."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But after dinner, you're out."

"Cool."

We sat on the bed, dropping our bags next to the desk and Jay pulled out her hollowed book. "Oh, great," she muttered, shoving a couple buds into a large, black grinder.

"What?" I asked.

At the same time, Jordan said, "Where'd you get that?" He jerked the grinder out of her hands and began twisting the top.

"You get to see Jordan when he's high," Jay answered me first, an unamused look on her face. "And Paige got it for me. I just never use it."

"You're so dumb," Jordan mumbled, twisting the bottom off and revealing a fine green dust. "Can I have this?"

"Sure, whatever. Just put it back on for now."

Jordan did as he was told and made sure all of the weed feel through the holes in the top. Jay reluctantly handed him her bowl, which took him forever to pack, because he was rubbing the dried leaves against the bottom of the grinder. When I got a better look, I saw that it was a screen and I quietly reminded myself that I had seen a grinder like that while I was living with my mom. I had never been allowed to touch it.

"You, uh, really know what you're doing," I said instead, filling the silence.

"Yeah, well I've been doing this a while now," Jordan said, a serious look on his face. "Jay told me you know what you're doing. That true?"

"Sorta, I mean, I can barely hit it without dying from coughing, but I'm not ignorant when it comes to any of this stuff." I fiddled with the hem of my shirt for something to do.

Jordan looked at me, impressed. "Lighters?" he asked Jay.

"I only have this one," she said, pulling the familiar black one from the book.

"Okay, well, you can share that one." Jordan handed me the bowl, digging in his pocket for a light blue lighter.

"You keep that on you all the time?" I asked, taking Jay's black one.

"Never know when you might need one."

Jay pressed her lips together, not saying what she obviously wanted to while I took my hit and Jordan told me when to release the choke and how hard to suck. "Hold it in as long as you can," he added. "It'll get you higher."

I nodded, passing the bowl to him, since he was on my left, and when I couldn't hold the smoke anymore, I blew it out, but there wasn't much. And I didn't cough.

"Nice," Jay said, taking her lighter.

After it went around for the third time, Jordan left, saying he'd be right back. Jay let out a sigh, setting everything back in the book and closed it.

"You okay?" I asked, feeling my body swaying slightly. I moved over to the top of the bed so I could reach my drink.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just actually worried about that idiot." She watched her closed bedroom door for a moment. "I don't want him doing anything stupid, like he's done in the past, you know?"

I nodded, knowing what she meant, but not knowing what he had done. "What happened?"

"I don't wanna get into it, in case he comes back, but I'll just say he got into some hard drugs and he had to be rushed to the hospital. Didn't wake up for about two days." I could see in her eyes that there was more to the story that wasn't being told, but we heard some noises from the hall, so I decided not to ask. It turned out not to be Jordan anyway, as he came back several minutes later looking happier and super awake.

"Mom said dinner will be ready in about forty minutes," he said, sitting at the foot of the bed where I had been. "What were you guys doing? Making out?"

"Jesus, Jordan," Jay groaned. "What took you so long, huh? Jerking off in your room?"

My eyes went wide at her response. I never had a sibling, but I had also never seen siblings say things like that to each other either.

Jordan laughed, to my surprise. He also moved closer to us, one of his knees touching Jay's leg, his body turned towards me. Before Jay or I could react, his hand shot out and grabbed mine. He pulled me forward, him falling back on the bed, me on top of him, strangled screams coming from my lips as I realized how close his were to mine. Something hard was poking me just below my stomach and I knew it wasn't his belt buckle. In the same instant, Jay's hands gripped my sides, pulling me off her brother as she shouted at him.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Get out!" I was shaking in her arms as she held me close. "Jordan! Out! Before I do something I'll regret later."

"Oh, yeah? You're not gonna do shit," Jordan fired back, standing now.

I felt her hesitance to let me go, but when she did, she reached into the drawer where she kept her hollowed book, pulling out a knife. A shiny, double-edged blade with a gold handle. She pointed it at Jordan. "Get the fuck out of my room or I will use this."

I was too shocked from Jordan's actions to even register the fact that Jay had just pulled a knife on her brother.

But he left, and she tucked the knife back into the drawer, along with the hollowed book. She pulled my shivering body into her arms again, gently stroking my back. "God, Rosabella, I'm so sorry. I knew I shouldn't have let him in here." She sighed softly, squeezing me as if she could hug the trauma out of me. Her lips pressed against my hair and she quietly told me we would eat in here and she would make sure her mom kept Jordan in his room while we got our food. He wasn't getting off the hook that easy.

Danger Signs // Demi Lovato // 4Where stories live. Discover now