Blurred Sentimentality

Perfect (Ch. 33)

Chaz

It was funny how I got so used to being upset that it was my neutral mood. I ran my fingers through my hair as I watched Jay from the windshield enter the party. He almost dragged me outside with him but I said that I'll go inside later.

I shook my head and sighed again. Why am I even here? Living became harder with each passing day. Nothing got better, no matter how many people told me it will. The only good thing happening to me was probably Ollie.

Speaking of her, I only came here to see her. I got out of the car and locked it, putting the car keys in my pocket. I was going to give them to Jay later.

I entered the house and loud music and screaming filled the area. I was never a fan of loud parties and crowded areas, but It wasn't something I couldn't manage. I scanned the people for her, but no hope.

Two girls in short outfits came up to me, grinning. "Hi, Chaz." They said in unison. I ignored them and shoved past some people to get inside. It was getting irritating. So many girls came up to me and they didn't even know the real me. They thought I was perfect, and that was probably the funniest joke I've ever heard.

The more I walked, the louder the music got. When I saw the mini-dance floor, I scanned it and saw familiar brownish-red locks. I smirked to myself in triumph and approached her. When I got closer, I noticed that a guy was dancing with her, his hands on her waist. It looked like she was enjoying it, but when I got even closer I noticed that she was trying to get away from him.

"I said leave me alone!" She hissed. I immediately went next to her and snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her next to me. She snapped her neck in my direction in shock, but her features softened when she saw me. I turned my attention to the guy who was with her next. I was pissed.

"When she tells you to leave her alone. You fucking leave her alone." I warned.

"You're not even together!" He yelled.

Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't bring unwanted attention.

"When she tells you to leave her alone, you do. Touch her once more and I'll make sure to cut your hands and shove them down your fucking esophagus."

He looked scared. I smirked at his reaction. All of them were scared of me. I could be scary when I wanted to. Not that I wasn't dangerous.

"H- here!" He tried to be manly and grabbed her waist, trying to pull her away from me.

I lost it.

I moved my hand from her waist and put it in a fist, throwing an upper-cut to the guy's jaw. He obviously wasn't from around here. Everyone knew not to mess with me.

He screamed and held his jaw in pain. Everyone was looking at us now, but I didn't care.

"Chaz!" Ollie hissed at me. "You didn't have to do that!"

I sighed deeply. What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

I was going to go back. I quickly shoved between the struck audience and headed to wherever I was going. I reached a glass door and opened it swiftly, reaching an area with grass outside of the house.

"Chaz!" I heard her yell. "Where are you going?"

I ignored her and kept walking, until she ran and grabbed my arm. I turned to see her beautiful red eyes widened. "Where are you going?!"

"I'm going back." I said quickly. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Something felt strange and new to me, and I didn't like it.

"Don't go." She placed a hand over my chest and I tried not to shiver, but I did anyways.

"What are you doing to me?" I sighed and looked away from her pretty face. She was wearing a green shirt with golden dots and tight, black jeans.

"Look at me, Chaz." She placed a hand on my cheek and I couldn't help but look at her.

"What's going on?" She asked, focusing her red eyes on me. I felt a huge desire towards her. I didn't know for how long I'd be able to hold back.

Without realizing it, I filled the gap between us and held my arms around her waist. It was like I was being hypnotized. I didn't know how to function anymore. I stared into her eyes, then her lips, and then her eyes again. She was controlling me without even knowing it.

I couldn't hold back.

I crushed my lips with hers and felt like I was being filled from the inside, like nothing mattered, only her. I tilted my head and tangled one hand in her hair as I kissed her more forcefully. Her lips were so soft and tasted sweet. She was beautiful, Inside and outside. She was everything I needed. But I wasn't everything she needed.

I bit her bottom lip softly between the kiss and felt her legs weaken, holding my shirt tighter. I smiled against her lips and soon fell over with her.

We lied on the grass, laughing at each other. She made me forget everything.

When my eyes met hers again, we both pulled in and started kissing on the ground. I lied on my back and she fell on top of me, grabbing my face and kissing me. I couldn't be any happier.

When we were both out of breath, I sat up and leaned on the house, she sat next to me but I spread my legs and pulled her in between, locking my arms around her waist from behind.

Her hair smelled amazing. I brushed it to one side, exposing her neck. I then moved a bit forward and stretched myself to kiss her collar. She threw her head backwards, giving my more space to kiss. I slowly kissed every spot on her neck I could reach, taking my time, taking in her familiar scent. I pecked a spot then ran my lips on her skin, slowly and steadily. It felt perfect to be with her, alone, in my arms, with blowing wind making the scene even better.

I wanted to make her another hickey. Scratch that, I wanted to fill her neck and body with hickeys. I wanted everyone to know that I was ready to break anyone's arms who tried to touch her.

But I couldn't, and I probably never could, so I enjoyed what I had at the moment.

She fell asleep in my arms, and I couldn't think of anything more endearing. I pecked her neck one last time before I held her there and leaned my head on her shoulder from behind.

That was the first time in so long I was genuinely happy. And that was because of her. She made me happy. I only wished if I made her feel that way too.

I only held her there, staring at her beauty and the beautiful surrounding. It burned to know that someone else was going to hold her like that, kiss her like that, make her happy. It wasn't going to be me.

All I did was mess up stuff. I never fixed anything, i only destroyed. It was terrible enough that I was holding her here. It felt perfect, it made me feel perfectly fine, but it wasn't the same for her. I was too messed up. Far fucked up that it wasn't even believable. Even if this moment was fine to her, we never knew how it would be like in the future. I promised Maxin that I'd end up like him. It's not like I had a choice either way.

She began to wake up, and I smiled when she did. "For how long did I sleep?" She asked in a low voice, almost a whisper.

"2 hours." I joked.

"What?" She jerked and I laughed.

"I'm joking. Maybe 20 minutes."

I loosened my grip around her when I noticed that she tried to move. She turned to face me and I lied my legs down. She then sat on my thighs and attacked me with another kiss. I laughed against her mouth, kissing her back with the same force.

She was perfect.

I was broken.

She was quintessential.

I was just sentimental.

*