Blurred Sentimentality

Messed up (Ch. 20)

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Olivia

"Mhmm." Matt murmured as he kept going. I pushed him away and buttoned my shirt.

"Not now." I said quickly. Even I didn't know what was going on.

"Why not?" He looked at me dissappointedly.

"I'm not ready." I said uneasily. My heart was beating so quickly I thought it would probably jump of our my throat. This was so awkward and unexpected.

"You've never done this before?" He asked in a low tone, retreating.

I shook my head and he smirked.

"It's okay, I'll wait." He shrugged and I slowly slid away from him.

I got up and went to bathroom, just to avoid Matt. Was he really about to- do that?! I wasn't ready. At all.

*

I waited outside of the school. Matt was supposed to pick me up as always but he was distant after I didn't sleep with him yesterday. He couldn't blame me! I'm still a virgin, yes. And I didn't want to lose my v-card anytime soon.

When I lost hope, and was about to go to the bus station, Chaz's car stopped in front of me.

"Ride?" He rolled down his window and blessed me with his face.

"Ride." I smiled and got in the car.

He had a black hoodie on with the cap. His jaw looked more defined than ever and his full lips were in a brighter male plum color than before. He looked so good. His right hand was on the steering wheel and the other was by his side.

"What's new?" I put on my seatbelt and rested back.

"Nothing."

After some time, I decided to start a conversation.

"Where are you going?" I asked and rested my head on the seat.

"To drop you off..?"

"Then?"

"I'll probably head to the gym. Why?"

"It's weird knowing that we don't have practice anymore." I said quietly. He didn't answer me.

"I mean, it kind of became a part of my routine." I added sheepishly.

"You don't want to get too attached to me." He said quickly and coldly.

I was about to laugh since I thought he was flattering himself, but he wasn't. He was serious.

"What?"

"It's better." He smiled at me, but that was probably the fakest smile he had ever flashed.

"What do you mean it's better?" I shook my head. "You're acting weird."

"Because I'm messed up."

"Messed up? That's nonsense."

"We're here."

"Wait, what are you saying?" I looked at him, not believing what he had said.

"Ollie-via, get out of my car." He said calmly.

"Excuse you? You're the one who asked-"

"I'm telling you to get out because you're here." He raised his voice.

"You know Chaz? You really are messed up." I raised my voice too and got out, slamming the car door. His mood swings were going to kill me one day. One second he's cool and the other he becomes so dark and weird.