Secret Love

Chapter 8

Dez Point of view

I scream as we jump off. I haven't felt this adrenaline running through my veins in a long time. I feel the water on my body. It's freezing.
"YEAH FUCK THAT WAS AWESOME" Austin smiles brightly.
"Fuck it's freezing" I shiver . Without warning Austin moves a bit closer to me and wraps his arms around me. "Are you warmer now?" He whispers . I am so flustered. I'm not sure what I should say or do, so I just let Austin hold me. I never want this to end.
"We should head back, it's gonna get dark and I think ally and trish still wanna get dinner" Austin says and pulls away from me. I am upset about the lack of warm ness from his body but what do I expect? For him to kiss me and tell me he loves Me? No. Haha oh gosh dez your so stupid . I can't focus on this negative crap. As long Austin and I are friends I guess it's alright. Oh god. My dad. I just rememberd I have to get my daily beating from him. I wish I could tell Austin. I wish I could tell him everything. Every little secret that I hide behind. And I wish he could just hold me. To comfort me. To make me forget everything. All the bad stuff. But I guess that can't happen. I get sucked out of my thoughts when I hear Austin say my name.
"Dez! Dez? Hello?" Oh. I blacked out again.
"Oh sorry Austin. Um I was just um thinking"
"Wanna talk about it?" Hell no.
"No thanks" "you sure ?" No. "Yeah I'm sure" I hope that convinces him.
"Hey , where's that smile of yours?" What?
"You barley smiled at all today Dez" he says and frowns. Why the hell does he care if I smile or not?
"I can't talk about this Austin"
"Why I thought we tell each other everything I tell you everything" that's it.
"Since when do you tell me anything ? Your always so damn secretive ! Every time I call , every time I even talk to you Austin . It's either I'm busy or go fuck off. And I'm confused if you even care about me!"
"What the hell Dez? Where's this bullshit coming from?" By now we are both out of the water.
"Every time I talk to you , you usually brush me off"
"That's because I can't stand being around you sometimes! I wish you could just be normal and have a normal conversation with me! Your so stupid . Seriously Dez you have to grow up now. How old are you ? 17 ? You act like your 7." Austin says loudly. And ouch that hurt . You don't know I already know that?
"Your not gonna say anything right? Because it's true?" Austin says.
"Austin ... You don't think I know that already" I say low. I'm on the verge of crying, but I can't.
"Then why don't you act it out?" I look at him with a blank face. He probably realizes what he said. God this boy has mood swings. First he loves me as a best friend then he doesn't.
"Dez, oh my gosh, I didn't mean to say that.. The performance today . It makes me feel selfish and... " I cut him off. "Austin, I get it," I give a small smile. "Come on let's go get trish and ally" and we walk off in silence .