Almost You

Forgive or Forget?

Chapter 24

Forgive or Forget

My heart beat sped up, my blood pounding in my ears. My head spun, making my knees lock. I stood, my mouth agape as I took in his presence. Him.

Evan.

His dark brown hair sifted with light brown was tousled, more then usual as he had been running his hand through it. I knew him well enough to know that he did that when he was anxious. His bright green eyes held traces of anger, worry, and confusion, as if he wasn't sure of something.

He wore his usual dark rinse jeans and boots, with a plain white t-shirt. A leather jacket was draped over his shoulders.

"Evan?" I squeaked, staring wide-eyed at the man who'd thought I had cheated on him, who had came back for whatever reason.

He nodded, his eyes were wide as if I had shocked him with my presence.

My head spun, emotions overwhelming me.

He cleared his voice, shaking his head. I felt my stomach tighten.

"I... Um..." Evan began, not finding his proper words. He looked slightly sick.

"Came to see if you were okay." Liz stated. Evan shot her a look, clearly not wanting those words. But softened into a sigh.

"Yeah, you disappeared and..."

"We didn't know who else to call." Evelyn finished, a slight apologetic look on her face.

"And also, you need to talk to him." Jessica stated.

"Yeah, hopefully you'll stop mopping around and be happy. And don't get into any more cars with Ryan." Liz added, stepping forwards and giving me a slight push towards Evan.

Evan looked uncomfortable, but walked straight into Liz's room. I followed, with my heart beating so hard it felt like it had jumped into my throat.

He leaned into the wall, as I turned around and firmly shut the door, blocking out prying eyes.

I came to face him, a thick tension formed between us. I took a shuddering breath, knowing that I would have to explain. I had been waiting for this, just a moment in time to speak to him, explain to him. But I feared the words wouldn't come out right.

But would I be better off embarrassing myself, by not saying them right?

Because I would hate to be walking alone for many nights, clearing my head, pondering the question, 'what if'?

I refused to let the moment slip away.

I drew a breath, trying to find a place to start. Words had been spilling through me through out our short time apart, that felt like eternity. Here was my chance, my only chance. My mouth dried. I closed my eyes for a moment, praying silently to find the words.

"Evan. I'm so, so, so, sorry about... What happened. It was just a big misunderstanding." I began, hesitating for a second. I took all of my doubtful thoughts and pushed them into that metal box in my mind, locking it and pushing as far back in my mind as possible.

"You see... When, Ryan proposed to me at Prom... I ran out without a word. Because I established earlier that night, while I was slow dancing with him that night, that I didn't love him. Uh, it's difficult to explain, but I thought I loved him, I did, but when he popped the question, I couldn't say it back."

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, pausing for a second. My mind warned me of the risks of something I was about to say, about the rejection I may have to face. I decided to take the risk of saying.