Almost You

My Heart Will Go On

Chapter 38

My Heart Will Go On

"H-hello?" I sputtered, my voice cracked. His voice echoed through my ears.

Shock didn't register that this was real. Everything felt so dream-like. My head felt like it was floating, but my heart dropped into my stomach like a rock.

"Heyy baby!" Ryan slurred again, and laughing drunkenly. "I miss you! Where have you been?"

"Hang up." Payton murmured. Her voice was urgent and angry.

"I've been..." I was at loss for words. I couldn't process anything. My mouth gaped as it lost all ability to form words.

"Turn it off!" Payton yelled, firmly.

"Sophie Bearrr!" Ryan hummed, sloppily. I wiped my sweated palms on the hem of my t-shirt.

"W-what do you want Ryan?" I stuttered, faking the confidence I didn't have. I put on a firm, front, but on the inside I was dying.

"Aww baby! You mad at meeee?" He slurred, in a pouty voice. I winced unvoluntarily.

I shut my eyes tightly. When I open my eyes, everything will be okay. This isn't real. You're dreaming. The sugar has gotten to your head.

I opened my eyes.

Six girls were sitting around me. Listening. I had a phone pressed to my ear.

"Ryan. We aren't dating. I'm not your baby." I told him firmly. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help stop the trace of tears that was detected in my words. I heard them. I prayed that he couldn't.

"Sophie!" Ryan laughed. "I know that you are lying! You love me! I know you doooo!" He sang through the phone.

My lower lip trembled. I bit on it hard, with my teeth.

"It isn't." I said weakly, not sounding the least bit convincing.

I took a deep breath, I knew that my face was already crumbling. The girls were all looking at me, I felt their hot stare. My mind and body weren't working the same. I didn't see them. I couldn't see them through the pain and blanket of tears blurring my vision.

I have never felt this way before. What the heck was happening? Why can't I tell what I am feeling?

"Liar!" Ryan taunted.

He started laughing. "You love me! I love you!"

"No Ryan!" I screamed into the phone, red covering my eyes. "I don't! You don't!" I protested. I shook my head, my hands curling into fists. My face was hot.

Silence. An empty silence filled the other line. My breathing came in large gulps, trying to keep myself from breaking down. Not now, I couldn't break down now.

"You little... Bitch!" A roar proclaimed. It hurt my ears, making me cringe. But not just because of how loud he was.

Hot tears filled my eyes again. Hearing Ryan yell at me cut through me. My nails bit into my palms.

I stayed quiet. If I said anything now, then I couldn't trust my voice not to break, I couldn't trust myself that I wouldn't break. I tried, I tried so hard to keep myself calm.

"I f#cking love you! How could you even say that?! You love me! I know you do! It's in there, somewhere. And you know it to! You love me!"

"N-"

He laughed coldly, cutting off my weak attempt of defense. He was attacking my heart; each word was a pounding bullet. "Don't give me that f#cking bullshit! SAY IT you f#cking girl!"