two sided | peter parker

XXV | significance

  『sig·nif·i·cance | noun | the quality of being worthy of attention; importance』

"YOU KISSED ME." He said as direct as he possibly could. The confidence didn't waver in his voice, but his actions said otherwise. The girl across from him gaped, her jaw falling slack and her eyes growing wide at his statement. Shaking her head, she laughed dryly, sipping her coffee and occasionally glancing at him.

"No, no. There is no way in Hell that I did that, Parker. You must be imagining things." Well, Y/n wasn't exactly wrong. It's not only the soft moments that Peter missed, but the intimate moments as well; all of them, really. Peter looked down, biting his bottom lip and muttering. "I knew you wouldn't believe me, which is why I sort of hoped you'd back out."

The statement slapped Y/n in the face. Either it was a wake-up call or reignited the flame of anger, anguish, and frustration that seemed to be boiling up within her. A wake-up call possibly just to remind her how narrow minded she's been in terms of this awkward encounter or anything to do with Peter in general? It baffled her.

In the time that she spent in France and chose to come back, never had she been stumped like this and doubted her own usually impulsive actions. "I'm sorry," She reiterated, sighing and sitting up completely after progressively slumping forward until her ankles nearly hit Peters. Her eyes darted back to Peter's brown ones, the ones that would make her melt instantly just a year ago.

"It j-just doesn't make sense to me. I've tried my best to block you out, I made sure to protect myself from you, yet it doesn't even take a week and you've already gotten past that." Tears formed in her eyes, but Y/n quickly wiped them away with the sleeves of her sweater. Peter felt a pang of guilt, gaze falling down to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"N-No, don't feel sorry," Y/n sputtered, pulling at her own fingers because of the lack of her fidget cube. A small pop sounded every now and then, the girl pulling so efficiently that she'd occasionally crack her knuckles. "It's like you do it effortlessly! I really don't understand it, Peter. I spent a year trying to erase you and you-you just come back."

The superhero raked his brown hair back, a soft smile on his lips. He tapped his fingers on the table. "As guilty as it makes me sound, I never really stopped thinking about you, Y/n." The girl looked at him, her eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing at the sudden confession. "I-I mean, you never really left my mind. I-It hurt, yeah, but I kind of liked it."

Peter licked his lips, continuing. "I missed you a lot too, y'know? It's stupid on my behalf of saying this after what happened last year, but I-I'm really trying. Is it okay if we start over?" Y/n stared at him incredulously, as if he said the world's stupidest and smartest theory at once. Her eyes locked onto his brown ones. "Just as long as you pinky promise me something."

A small giggle escaped his lips, the boy tilting his head at the childish request. Chocolate orbs gazing at her kindly, he asked. "Promise you what?" With a hardened and stubborn expression, Y/n chewed on her bottom lip. It would take a lot of guts to say this, and immense willpower on both of their parts to keep it up. 

"We can't fall in love."

That was absolute bullshit to Peter, the boy angrily striding home with a broken heart and an even more broken spirit. He's trying? Can't she see that? No, of course she saw that. She's just trying to protect herself. What is she trying to protect herself from? The past? The future? Her own emotions? 

As much as Peter's thoughts sped in a rapid pace, it was painful to think of the actual conclusion. She wasn't protecting herself from any of those things, she was protecting herself from him. The trust in between them had deteriorated so quickly over time that they were practically strangers. Sure, she knew Peter's favorite song, color, hobby, subject, food, nearly everything.

Sure, he knew her favorite song, color, hobby, subject, food, and nearly everything. That simply wasn't enough. Knowing each other isn't enough, acknowledging each other is a whole different matter. And when one person focuses on not doing that for a year, while the other is devoted to do so, it ultimately clashes into another horrifying disaster.

Letting out a groan, Peter flopped onto his bed backwards. His head hit his navy blue blankets, Aunt May opening the door with a concerned look on her face. "Peter?" She blinked, staring at him for a few minutes before speaking up. "What's wrong?" He sighed, slapping a hand on his forehead. "How do you get your ex-girlfriend, who you cheated on, to trust you again?"

Aunt May stared at him with wide eyes, her mind taking a hot minute to register the situation that he'd just mentioned. Blinking, she processed it and looked back at him. "She called back? What did she say after you told her?" Peter kept his eyes locked on the bottom of the top part of his bunk bed that was filled with books, notes, and other results of studying habits.

"We said that we'd start over, but she made me promise not to fall in love with her. May, that's entirely impossible. I already love her, so much." She glanced at her nephew in a pitying manner, eyes solemn and a stance of softness. May walked towards him, sitting down at the edge of the same bed. "That promise won't last. I know it, Peter. She fell in love with you once; she will again."

Peter glanced at her, turning his head ever so slightly. "What can I do? I don't want to pressure her, but I miss what we had." Eyes averting, he cursed. "I was a fucking idiot." May tapped her foot on the floor. "I won't give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn't know any better. It was a mistake, obviously."

She stood up with a gleam in her eyes and soft smile. "Now all you have to do is make up for it."