A One Shot Book of Unfortunate Events

Those Stupid Couplets!

*Isadora's POV*
Ugh! Class is so boring! Mrs. Bass probably doesn't even have a teaching degree and keeps mentioning measurements of security forces in Mulctuary Money Management. I'm pretty sure she's planning on robbing the bank... I looked back at my only friend in this class, Klaus Baudelaire. He didn't notice me, but I could tell he didn't care about the lesson plan either. He was a great friend - compassionate, understanding, sweet, funny, intelligent - but the one thing a "friend" should not be is that damn hot! I desperately wanted to make him mine, although I didn't want to own him... per say. Klaus was extremely cute and I couldn't help but be attracted to him! He was my brother's best friend AND my best friend's brother, and not to mention we were already good friends ourselves. It was honestly difficult to see him as anything less than a potential boyfriend, but I did so to the best of my abilities since I wasn't so sure if he felt the same way... I felt my mind wander as I went to writing couplets, keeping them anonymous since most poets didn't mention the subjects by name. I was quickly pulled out of my work as Mrs. Bass called my name several times.

"Yes?" I answered, hoping Mrs. Bass would ask me a stupid measurement.

"Could you please come up here and tell the class what you have been writing? "
"I'd prefer not to."
" Well, would you prefer to be expelled, Miss High-and-Mighty? "

I reluctantly stood up in front of the class as my face already turned red. "I'm not doing this." I said, breaking the awkward silence. "Are you sure you'd rather face expulsion than present us with a few of your idiotic poems?" I glared at her and decided to bite my tongue, knowing I'd probably swear like a sailor for her insulting my passion. I can't believe I'm even considering reading these in front of Klaus! I took a deep breath as I read the couplets off the page.

"Brown eyes, inviting and warm; You calm my seas from their storm. My mind goes blank when I think of you; please tell me what to do. Wandering in hope are my mind, soul and heart; promise me we'll never be apart. Just like a book needs a story; you complete this preparatory. This isn't in here, but I'm pretty sure I meant purgatory..."

" That's it! " Mrs. Bass shrieked, "Office. Now!" I collected my things as the students tried to guess who I was crushing on. "She probably wrote them about her boy-toy bookworm!" One of Carmelita's disciples commented as I shut the door behind me. That bitch was talking about Klaus, and I was so embarrassed that I had read those in front of him! Thank God I made that comment before I got to the next three couplets... Those stupid couplets! I quickly tore out the page in a fit of rage, ripping it to shreds over a trashcan. I began to sob quietly as I felt my heart ache. Isadora Quagmire doesn't feel heartache. "What is he doing to me?" I whispered to myself, as I leaned against the lockers, sinking down to the ground. Although Klaus didn't directly rebuff my affections, it felt like he did anyway.

"Miss Quagmire, are you okay?" Olivia Caliban asked as she stepped closer to me. Olivia was the only one that showed Duncan, the Baudelaires and I any kindness at this school and it sickened me how unreliable the world is. "I'm not sure." I replied, wiping my tear-stained cheeks. Olivia knelt down next to me and patted my hand. "Once you find out, come and find me." I smiled weakly as she left without another word. I decided I should probably get to the office before I got in more trouble. Upon passing the bathrooms, a bright pink blob caught my eye. Carmelita scoffed at me as she tried to hide several crushed cans of alcohol. "Is the Cakesniffer ditching class? That's unheard of!" She asked me, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Is the bigger Cakesniffer drinking beer? That's unheard of! Let's see who'd get in more trouble?" I retorted, walking away before and could reply. Not even caring if I "interrupted a genius when he's rehearsing", I knocked on the door of Vice Principal Nero's office.

" Who dares interrupt a genius when he's rehearsing?" Nero shrieked as the door flung open.
"I'm not sure, but I'd rather be them." I commented quietly enough that he didn't hear me. "Isadora Quagmire." I replied more audibly.
"Isadora Quagmire," he mimicked in a high, shrill voice, "Come in. Come in. I don't have all day."

I had to sit through twenty minutes of his violin emitting repulsive cried as it longed for someone who knew what they were doing. That was punishment enough without the detention I got... It was just in time for lunch, so I was able to see that rumors were already spreading like wildfire. Duncan was going to be furious with these people...

"Isadora, is everything okay?" Violet asked as she walked next to me, "Everyone is saying you have crushes on different people... Most of them saying it's Klaus. What happened?"

I pulled her into a secluded area as I explained my predicament. I didn't need to tell Violet for her to know that I liked her brother, since even I knew it was plain as day. Her advice was for me to come clean and tell Klaus how I felt, but I really didn't want to mess up our friendship if he didn't feel the same. I told Violet this and all she did was laugh as if I had told a joke instead of a legitimate concern. I couldn't get my mind off of this topic, especially since basically every boy in the school with brown eyes - and even a few girls - came up to me and said that they didn't like me. "Do I look like I care? It wasn't about you anyway, Scrub. Now get lost." I hated speaking to people like this, but I couldn't help but be so cross with today. Everyone knew I liked somebody. I have detention later. And to top it all off, it's all probably not worth it anyway since Klaus is too perfect to like plain old Isadora Quagmire back... Why did I have to be so horrible? So horrible that the one guy I ever truly liked is probably incapable of seeing me in that way?

Violet checked the time and said that Sunny needed to be back at work soon, so she can drop her off... Duncan went with... probably so him and Violet could make out afterwards. "Isadora?" Klaus asked me.

"Yes, Klaus?" My voice cracked as I realized he might have figured out the subject of my couplets. I quickly prepared what I would say once he broke the news. "I'm sorry you're not having a good day," he said solemnly.

"I know and it's stupid. I know you probably don't feel the same way about me and you don't have to just forget I ever wrote those stupid couplets..." My eyes widened in shock as I realized that I just told him and he was just trying to cheer me up. "Isadora, what are you talking about?" He laughed, "I was so worried you wrote those about somebody else and hearing that they were for me honestly makes me so happy."

My face lightened as he took my hand in his and the two of us couldn't help but blush awfully. Maybe... Those couplets aren't so stupid...

**********
1281 words