A One Shot Book of Unfortunate Events

In a Word... Chaos.

* The title is fitting if we're describing my life.
Warning: Using these pranks might result in a permanent loss of friendship. Attempt at your own risk.
Important AU note: Olaf was imprisoned at Prufrock a few years ago and Duncan and Isadora insisted the Baudelaires live in their dorm with them. Violet and the Quagmires are 17 and Klaus is 16*
*Duncan's POV*

"Duncan! Duncan! I can't find my glasses!" I woke up to Klaus yelling. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I threw on a shirt as I asked Klaus where he saw them last.
"My bedside table! I don't feel them anywhere!"

I rolled onto the floor and looked under his bed for them. Not there. I went to check the bathroom to see if he left them on the counter. They were there all right. "Klaus? Do you remember putting them in Jello?"
"What?"
"Your glasses are in red Jello. And there's a note."

I opened the note which was scribbled in bright pink sharpie.

I hope you cakesniffers have a horrible day! Enjoy your gifts!

"Carmelita pranked us. How did she even get in here?"
" Ugh. What a bitch." He grumbled, digging into the Jello.

I nodded and went to leave the room. The door swung open into the hall and an airhorn blasted. She stuck one in a position so the doorknob would trigger it.

"What was that?" I heard Violet ask.
"One of Carmelita's latest pranks on us. She slipped in during the night somehow." I called back.

She immediately tried to rush out of her and Isadora's shared room, slipping and falling.
"VIOLET!" I rushed over to her and the floor outside the door was greased or something! "Are you okay?"
" Oww... "
"That does it. You're hurt and she's officially toast. What did she do to you and Izzie?" I carried Violet over to the couch in the little lounge area and set her down.
"She put bouillon cube in the shower head; I'm a little glad Izzie was the one that found that out; some of those little fourth of July poppers under the toilet seat, switched out our toothpaste with mayonnaise and it isn't even April Fools Day."
"Once I see her, oh boy she better run."

That's about when we noticed she tagged the entire room in graffiti. Profanity was everywhere in bright, sparkly pink.

"OH GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Isadora shouted from the next room. We carefully walked into the kitchen area and saw Isadora dumping out the Orange juice. "She mixed Mac and cheese powder into the juice!"
"Is she insane?"
"Obviously!" Violet winced.

"I heard about the bouillon cube. I can still smell it on you."
" Shut up! Do you think Klaus will notice?"
"He's busy digging his glasses out of Jello."
"Ooh Jello! What flavor?" Violet asked.
"Cherry I think."

She gasped. "Yes!" She ran towards Klaus and my shared room. I chuckled softly. I noticed myself staring in her direction and averted my gaze from the door.
"Cough whipped cough." Isadora said.
"Shush, Bouillon. It's not like she likes me anyway."
"That's a lie."
"What?"
" Ugh. How do I put this into dorky sci-fi geek terms? "
"I am not a sci-fi geek!"
"Star-Killer Base is smaller than her crush on you..."

Star-Killer Base is the size of a planet. "Even if she does like me like that, you're totally over exaggerating."
" Duncan, my dear brother... Would I lie to you?"
"Yes, probably."
" Be quiet! All I'm saying is that you should go for it if we make it out of here alive."

Isadora and I stood in silence for a few moments and Klaus and Violet came out of the room. He was still picking small red bits off his glasses and Violet had a small handful of Jello in her hand. I laughed as she offered me some. I politely declined.
"Did you eat all the Jello!?"
" Why? Did you want some?"

"Okay. Walk around in twos in case if a prank hurts us. Umm... Don't eat anything or use any appliances."
"I'll partner up with Klaus!" Isadora said, winking at the two of us and dragging Klaus away swiftly.
" She probably wanted to be alone with Klaus," Violet said, a thick layer of red spread across her cheeks.
" That's definitely true. I'm glad it's Saturday. I've been looking forward to the weekend all the time since Nero left and took his stupid Saturday and Sunday classes with him."
"Agreed. I'm hungry though. I don't want to risk eating anything in case she tampered with it! For all I know there could be laxatives in the milk..."
"We could head out for breakfast? I'd need to wear actual clothes, though."

"It would give Klaus and Isadora some alone time. They'd be so cute together! She talks about him all the time, you know..."
" Can't quite get her to stop, huh?"
"Well, when she does, all she wants to talk about is my crush on- Nevermind!" She shuffled away from me and buried her face into a blanket. That was a pretty good reminder of how crazy in love I am with her. I silently decided she would stay here while I went to change so we could leave. I walked over to my door and tripped over a wire or something. Maybe some fishing line?

*Violet's POV*

"Oh my God, Duncan, are you okay?!" I asked, running over to Duncan.
"That hurt." He said, trying to force a smile through a pained expression. I frowned at him.
"Can you walk? Can you even stand?"
"Sunny's toy block broke my fall. On my ribs..."
"Oh my God. I guess Sunny dropped this one. Are you okay?!"
"No not really. I think the block left a mark."

I nodded and tried to help Duncan to his feet. "I think Klaus found a first aid kit once. It'd be in his bedside table." He pulled himself into his bed and I went and checked Klaus' side of the room.

"Got it. Where did you say it hurt again?"
"I think my ribs were bruised." Duncan re-explained, wincing as he adjusted his position on the bed.
"Okay then take off your pajama shirt and I'll see how bad it is." I regretted wording it like that. He hesitantly pulled it off and winced at his own movements. I blushed darkly as I saw he had abs. I know this isn't the time to be fangirling over him but oh my God I didn't know he could get any more perfect...

"Vi? You okay?"
" Oh um yeah... Sorry. Here's a cold packs!" I pulled one out of the box and handed it to Duncan. It'd be awkward if I was holding it against him, especially since he's shirtless, I'd be close to him, and I'm madly in love with him. Ugh if only he knew how much I like him! I pulled a random book off of the bookshelf and sat on my brother's bed.

"Are you gonna read a dictionary?"
I looked at the cover. "Yeah, but don't spoil it."
Duncan laughed, but soon started wincing.
"Oh sorry sorry!"
Duncan nodded as if to say I was forgiven.

"Maybe you should take a nap? This morning had been pretty stressful," I suggested, "A nap relieves my stress a lot."
" Is that why you like to sleep in?"
"Shush! You sleep in too!" I giggled.

"Can I see the dictionary?"
"Yeah sure." I handed it over to him and he flipped through a few pages.
"On a possibly unrelated note, what's your middle name? I don't think I ever caught it.
" Ellington. I'm told it came from a friend of a friend of my mother's."

He nodded and stopped flipping. He's probably about to joke about me being lazy or something...

"Perfect. Adjective. Having attained perfection. Synonym: Violet Ellington Baudelaire." He read with a smirk. "Isadora told me about your crush on me. I just wanted to let you know that I return those feelings times five."

I was blushing darkly. "Next time you compliment me, could you please wear a shirt?" I said sheepishly.
"What makes you think there'll be a next time?"
" Uh 'cause I'm amazing."
"Mmm true."
" And gorgeous. "
"With a capital G."
"Intelligent."
"As genius as they come. Now stop making me stroke your ego and come cuddle with me."
"Fuck it. Why not?" I asked rhetorically, a wide grin on my face.

********
1416 words

A/N: Just go with it...