What Would It Take For You To Change?

I'm Barely Hanging On

Chapter 16: I'm Barely Hanging On

~Jenna's POV~

I can't believe I get to go on tour with Pierce the Veil!!!! I can't believe my mom is okay with this. I'm so excited, I can't wait to leave this hell hole for a month.

I asked Vic to come and stay over to help me pack, and because I want a night with my boyfriend, I missed him so much. He gave me the best birthday ever.

When we got home me and Vic went straight to my room and started to look through my cloths. He was just sitting on my bed laughing at me because I swear I am about to go crazy.

"Bring whatever you want Sweetie" Vic laughed

"That's not helping! You don't understand how hard it is to pick clothes as a girl."

"Well it will be warm so pack summery clothes. Does that help?"

"A bit" I sighed. I turned back into my closet and picked up a pair of shorts. I am too fat to wear shorts, and plus my legs now. I'll have to wear pants because I'm sure Vic doesn't want to see them.

A tear escaped my eye as I stood staring at the shorts. I guess I was frozen for a few seconds because I came out of thought when Vic wrapped his arms around my waist. "What's wrong Sweetie?" Vic asked.

"Oh..um nothing" I said quickly wiping the tear from my face and put the shorts down and picked up some pants instead.

"What was wrong with the shorts? You won't want to be wearing pants most days?" Vic asked, but then quickly thought of the answer himself, "Come sit, we need to talk". He pulled me to the bed.

"Jenna, look, I don't care what you think you look like, I know you are beautiful and nothing can change that. I will never judge you by your scars, and I don't want you to feel ashamed by them." Tears were running down my cheeks by this point. How could he still think I'm beautiful? He hasn't even seen them yet.

"Can we talk about that day?" Vic asked, sounding scared.

"I guess...but I don't know what to say"

"Just start from what happened after I called, please, I just want to know what went wrong" Vic said silently.

"Well, I went home after I hung up and was just lying on my bed, I wanted to sleep but the memories came flooding in. I felt all the feelings I felt the first time but they come so fast. I couldn't stop remembering and I wanted the voices to stop. I didn't want to cut Vic, but I had to. I needed to be numb. After the first one I just kept cutting until I was too dizzy. I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to....but I told you I couldn't keep a promise." I whispered the last part. Vic seemed so sad as I told him, I feel really bad for hurting him.

"Don't be sorry, just tell me you won't do it again, please? It hurt me so much to know you were in that kind of pain. I don't want it to happen again, I couldn't forgive myself if you ever died"

After a minute of silence I whispered "Okay" Into his chest.

We cuddled for a little bit longer, Vic tightening his arms around me like he was afraid to let go. When I finally pulled out of his arms we kissed. It was so passionate, it felt like it meant something. "Jenna," Vic said putting his forehead on mine, "I-I love you".

A wave of calm passed over me as I heard these words. "I love you too" Our lips re-connected, the kiss growing more hungry by the minute. I felt Vic getting turned on, and I was willing to go as far as he wanted right now.

~Vic's POV~

Jenna's lips are so perfect. I wanted to show her how much I loved her. I've never really been to good at talking, only singing and this. I started kissing down Jenna's neck. I knew her favourite spot was behind her ear. I kissed and sucked a mark onto her skin as she let out a light moan. I am determined to show her how beautiful I think she is.