What Would It Take For You To Change?

The Past Keeps Coming Back

Chapter 41

~Jenna's POV~

It's Monday morning and I have to go back to school today. I'm honestly terrified. When Vic left early this morning he promised me that I would be okay and that he'd come get me if things got too bad.

~&~

When I walked through the hallways to my first class people kept staring at me. Their judgemental eyes were watching my every move and I hated it. It felt like I was under a microscope. Thankfully my Spanish class door was unlocked even though the bell hasn't rung yet. I went and found my seat at the back in the empty room trying to calm my breathing for what was about to come. This was always the worst class with Tia and Ben.

The bell rang and in came all the students, I could hear them whispering about me. I refused to look up, I don't want to see their faces.

"Oh look...It's back" I heard Tia's voice. Oh god I regret my decision to come back here. I could hear snickers and harsh whispers everywhere.

"Good morning class!" The teacher is way too bright and cheery today, "guess who's back from here month off?!" Ohhhhh god why, please don't, "Jenna is! Jenna, why don't you come up here and tell everyone a quick little something about your month off?"

I shook my head but my stupid teacher kept insisting. Here goes nothing. I slowly walked through the rows of desk to the front, feeling everyone's eyes burning in to me.

"Just tell the class where you went." She told me.

"O-Okay, umm, we toured all around the States around Washington and stuff." I spoke timidly.

"And who were you with?"

"Umm my boyfriends band Pierce the Veil"

"Ew are they another one of those weird emo bands you listen to?" Tia's voice sneered.

"That's enough Tia" The teacher stood up for me for once.

I returned to my seat after that and pulled out my phone. 4 new messages.

The first was from Vic: Morning Sweetie! Hope your first day back to school goes okay...Love you!

I didn't feel like replying now, he'll just be upset if I tell him how much I hate it.

The next few messages were from Tia and some other girl: Wow you got fat while you were away, bet that's why that little boyfriend of yours sent you home. Couldn't stand the weight you've put on.

After reading that; my whole mood just crashed. I went from scared but okay, to horribly sad and suicidal again. I just slumped down in my chair and kept my head on my desk for the rest of class. When the bell went I decided that there is no reason for me to go to English because it will be the same thing over again, so I left.

I ended up at the same coffee shop that I met the boys at. Isn't it funny how being here holds one of the best and the worst days of my life? I ordered a hot chocolate and sat at the same table I did with the boys. I decided to text Vic back... "Hey"

He replied almost instantly: "Hey J aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"I am supposed to be there, but I'm at the coffee shop :/"

Moments after I sent that message my phone started ringing with Vic's face flashing on the screen.

"Hi" I said shyly.

"What's wrong Beautiful?"

"Nothing"

"Jenna don't lie to me"

"I'm sorry"

"What's wrong Sweetie, please tell me."

"They were all staring Vic" I whined, "Then I got texts saying how fat I've gotten. I hate them Vic I hate them so much!" I was trying hard at this point to not start sobbing in public, but it is a challenge.

"Oh Jenna don't listen to them, you know the things they say are not true! You haven't gotten fat Sweetie, you've gotten to the point where you're almost healthy again. Their all just ass-holes who are jealous of your beauty" there was a long moment of silence after Vic spoke, mostly because I really didn't know what to say. I mean what can I say at this moment? That I believe him and that my classmates are idiots; but that's a lie and I'm not supposed to lie. Or do I say the truth on my mind; that I honestly believe what everyone is saying, I have gotten fat, and I am something worth laughing about.

"Are you planning on go back for your afternoon classes?" He asked sounding tired. I hate that I'm probably the reason for his tiredness; he spends too much time worrying about me and not enough time taking care of himself.

"Yeah, I guess. I have Chemistry and Math, thankfully most the asses aren't in those classes with me." I sighed knowing that if I told him I really didn't want to go he'd be disappointed in me.

"Good." Vic sounded happy about this, "School is important, and you know that, you shouldn't let some mean kids get in the way of your education, okay?"

"Okay"

"I have to go now Sweetie, but promise you'll call me before you go to bed?"

"Yeah I promise"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

And with the click of the phone I instantly felt lonely again.

~&~

I ended up actually going back to school after about an hour long break at the coffee shop. But I don't think it was the right decision. I went to the cafeteria and sat down at a table by myself to try and eat the lunch mom had made me, but I was rudely interrupted before I could even take a bite...

"Wow...All that food! God Jenna why are you such a pig?!" It was Tia and her little posse. They were walking by with probably the same amount of food on their trays but apparently when its mine I'm a pig.

Well maybe their right. I am already much fatter than them, so I don't need this much food. No I can't think like that, I need to eat, I'm sick and need to get better, for myself and for the people who love me. But look at yourself, those people who you think love you most defiantly won't love you anymore if you get fatter. Yes they will they promised that they­-no, no they won't. And plus if you skip one meal they won't notice...It can be another little secret, but last time-no Jenna, stop, last time was good, last time you almost reached your goal, think about it...it's just one meal...no one will miss it. OKAY fine!

I abruptly got up and walked across the cafeteria to the garbage can where I disposed of my lunch. I was too disgusted in myself to even think about eating it.