What Would It Take For You To Change?

I'll Always Love You

Chapter 28: I'll Always Love You

~Vic's POV~

I didn't care how I felt inside; it's more important that I take care of Jenna and not dwell on the past. I was glad that she told me she wouldn't leave. I really do love her for that.

Once I had made her breakfast she was just staring at it. I knew she was hungry so I didn't understand why she wouldn't pick up the fork.

After about 5 minutes of waiting for her to eat I got worried, so I put some food on my fork and brought it to her lips. "Jenna" I tried to get her to open her mouth, but she gave the food a fearful look then burst out crying. I dropped the fork and got out of my chair rushing to her side.

"Jenna! Jenna, Sweetie what's wrong?!" I wrapped her into my arms as her body lost control and she nearly fell out of the chair. I carried her over to the couch trying to get her to tell me what was wrong.

"Jenna? Shhhhh, I'm right here, tell me what's wrong."

Jenna put her hands on her head and buried herself into my legs. "It hurts! Vic, make it stop, please"

"What hurts baby? Tell me what hurts" It's an awful feeling: watching someone you love cry out in pain and not be able to fix it.

"M-my head. Vicky it won't stop, the-there's too mu-much pain inside...make the thoughts stop...please" Jenna whimpered the last part. I don't know what I can do to stop her thoughts from hurting her. How I wish I knew what was going on inside that pretty little head of hers.

~Jenna's POV~

Every bad thing that has ever happened to me was playing over in my mind. I couldn't stop it, it was like all the good memories just disappeared. It hurt so badly, I was wanted the pain to stop. Vic was trying his hardest but he can't fix what's on the insides of me.

I had only ever felt like this once before, the day I tried to kill myself. And right now death seemed like the only way to stop this pain.

I was hysterically crying into Vic's lap, I couldn't move. My body felt numb and it felt like I was never going to feel okay again.

"How can I help you Jenna? Tell me what I can do?" Vic was trying to sooth me. I felt horrible that in the past two or three days, all I have done was make Vic's life hard and cry. I was ruining his life but he didn't realise it. I don't understand why he puts up with my shit. I know I wouldn't if I was in his position.

"L-let me die" I whispered into his legs before taking in a much needed deep breath.

"W-wh-what?" Vic asked, he seemed so sad when he spoke, and I hate knowing that I cause his pain.

"Just, just let me die, I-I can't hurt you anymore" I breathlessly spoke into his lap, I was out of tears and my loud cries have turned into painful moans as I felt myself breaking.

Vic was silent for a few minutes and I had almost convinced myself that he would actually let me die.

"Jenna" His voice had such pain in it, "I can't let you leave, never. I'll make you better don't worry, I'll get the pain inside to stop one day." Vic moved his hands underneath me and picked me up bridal style, I clutched onto his chest confused, "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? I'm going to take care of you properly. I won't let you get hurt anymore." I just nodded and let Vic take me with him.

He carried me into the bathroom and placed me on the counter. I felt so dull and lifeless I couldn't even question what he was doing, let alone move my limbs.

Vic slowly removed my clothing; like he was afraid he might hurt me. Then he picked me up and carefully put me onto the shower floor. I hugged my knees into my chest and sat there motionless. Vic took the shower head down from the wall and held it to the corner while he turned on the water, adjusting it to make it nice and warm. Vic began to wash my hair and warm up my numb body.

"I'll make you happy one day, I promise" he whispered into my ear.

I just put my head to my knees and avoided looking at him. I felt cold when the water turned off, but was soon warm again when Vic wrapped a towel around me and began to dry me off. He picked me up and brought me back to our bedroom.

I sat wrapped in the towel on the bed while I watched Vic go through my bags looking for clothes. I saw him hesitate and sigh when he was going through one of the bags and realised that he must have seen the scale I had been hiding in the bottom. Vic didn't say anything about it though. He came back over to me with my favourite pair of skull leggings and my long-sleeve BMTH sweater. Vic dressed me just as I had him last night.

Once I was dressed Vic got up and quickly went into the bathroom. He came out with my hairbrush and an elastic. He brushed my hair slowly and gently. I loved Vic so much right now, he was so gentle and kind with me. He kept whispering sweet things in my ear while he braided my hair like, 'you're perfect, please don't forget it' 'I'm going to make you all better, okay?' 'You're my angle'

Once Vic was done he put shoes onto my feet and told me that we were going to get out of this place for awhile. I was glad that we were leaving the bus for a bit, but I really have no motivation to move. I still haven't spoken or moved by myself since our non-breakfast breakfast.

He must have sensed that I wasn't prepared to move yet because he put my arms around his neck and pulled me onto his back.

We were walking through a park full of pretty flowers and there was a pond with fish. Well I guess Vic was walking and I was riding on his back. Vic stopped and put me onto the ground and sat beside me. He pointed at a funny looking fish and said "That one's Jaime because he's got funny spikes on his back, that one is Mike because..." I stopped listening as he pointed to fish and told me who he thought they were. I was too focused on him. He was trying so hard to make me feel loved, and I did, I really felt like he loved me. I haven't spoken to him in nearly 3 hours but he still had conversations with me, it made me feel so loved.

"I-I love you Vicky" I whispered to him whilst lying down into his lap. I saw him smile and look at me.

"I love you too Jenna, I always will"

We didn't speak for awhile after that, just sat in comfortable silence while Vic looked at the fish, and I played with his hand cuddled into his lap.

After about 15 minutes, I was feeling really hungry considering its now been about a day since I've had food. "Could we, umm, go and get something to eat?" I broke the silence. I looked up to Vic and saw him smiling.

"Of course baby, come on lets go." He pulled me off his lap and helped me stand up. I was feeling much better than I was before, so I didn't allow Vic to carry me when he offered. Instead I took his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking towards town.

We were almost at the cafe we had decided to go to when Vic randomly stopped us and turned me to face him. I gave him a questioning look.

"You know I love you right?" Vic asked

"Yes, I know you love me." I answered back still confused.

"Just making sure" He said before starting to walk again, "and don't worry I know you love me too"

I gripped his hand tighter and pulled him closer to me, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and whispered into his ear "Thank-you"