I had been released from the hospital just days later.
Since I had been under for so long, my wounds had healed and I was all good to go.
I had never needed a wheelchair like I dreamt and I could walk around perfectly fine.
While I was out, I missed a lot. Apparently Billie had multiple panic attacks because of my absense, and that scared me. When I had asked her to explain everything, she got a bit defensive which bothered me.
A lot.
I was really confused as to how her tour even continued but my conversation with Finneas had cleared that up.
"We did travel.. Billie had us come back on our free days though."
That had warmed my heart. While I was in a coma, they came back for me. They came back every so often and always found time even when they were busy.
Right now I was lying on the hotel bed, Billie's arms wrapped around my waist and her chest against my back.
I wasn't even asleep. I just sat there. Sat there and thought about everything that I had experienced.
And I cried.
I cried for Coma Cierra, Finneas... Billie.
I cried for falling for it. I barely even noticed the unrealistic parts...
I had left my car at the grocery store, yet when I got home it was there..
Heck! I had a car! I was on tour.
And Giggle...
Was she really a cool person? I had misjudged her.
I then felt a kiss placed on the base of my neck.
"What are you doing up?" Billie asked groggily.
"Thinking." I whispered.
She hummed in response, nuzzling her face further into my neck. Not long after, her light snoring came back.
She was adorable.
The ringing of a phone interrupted me. I had thought it to be mine but it was Billie's. I didn't know whether to check the contact or let her get it.
But then I looked at her.
I looked at her peacefully sleeping, beautiful as ever and I knew I just couldn't.
I picked up her phone on the nightstand. The ringing ceased due to the amount of time I took to answer. I almost returned the phone to the nightstand before the caller left a text.
I almost didn't look at it, believe me. But I just wanted to know what was so important that they had to wake her up at four in the morning for.
Gigi
miss you xx
What?
Whose Gigi?
OH.
I scrolled further up on their texts and started reading.
Before I did so however, I promised myself I was doing this our of curiosity and not jealousy.
Definitely not jealousy.
Me
thanks for being there for me n shit. i appreciate it
Gigi
anytime love
I kept on scrolling, finding texts that seemed a bit too friendly.
Gigi
had fun tonight...
Me
me too.
Gigi
don't be a stranger. my door's always open
Me
and bed ahaha
Gigi
bye ily
Me
lyt mamas
My eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Before I could react audibly, the phone was snatched from me.
"The fuck you doing!?" Billie yelled at me.
"Why are you texting Giggl - Gigi?" I asked slowly.
This was her one chance. She had the perfect opportunity to open up and explain before shit hit the fan.
"She's a friend." Billie answered dryly, clearly uncomfortable.
She had lied. She could have told me the direct truth and she didn't. That's how I knew what I had to do.
"No! Billie she's not!" I cried out.
"You were gone for so long and... They told me you wouldn't make it and-"
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?" I screamed.
"I COULDN'T CONTROL MY CONSCIOUSNESS. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WAKING UP, HAVING LOST EVERYTHING!?"
Billie swallowed and looked at me with glassy eyes.
"I'm leaving." I announced, getting up and starting to pack.
"No no no!" She cried, reaching for me. "Baby please don't leave me! I love you!"
"You should have thought of that before you chose to love someone else at the same time." I muttered darkly.
Although I was putting up a tough front, I was broken inside. I was so hurt by what she did to me.
And I knew there was only one place I could go at this point.
Home.
And there I was, walking away from the love of my life who was screaming and crying for me to come back. She sounded as if she was in physical pain from my departure, but I couldn't let it faze me.
I was not going to be walked all over. I wasn't going to sit by and nod my head as if I was okay with being cheating on.
Because I wasn't.
If Billie Fucking Eilish wants me back.
She's going to have to work for it.
--------------------------
A/N
What a mouth full..
Also if you didn't notice, the Fucking in Billie's name, is associated with the negative connotation ahah.
No longer an expression of excitement.
Thanks for reading my loves! <3
