human | g.d

a. round two

luna;

     sometimes i wondered what was the meaning of life and what significance it held in today's reality. what was the point of living and then having to perish in the end of it all?

"trust me, i know this is a good idea," my mother protested, trying to sound as genuine as possible but she couldn't muster that kind of courage, not now.

i stared out of the car window, letting the cold breeze wash away all of my thoughts.

"don't you always say that?" i asked her, letting the coldness in my voice be heard.

of all the things i had asked her to do for me since we left long island, she had only done one; bought me food.

even when i told her going back to the town that held the most memories in our lives was a bad idea, she never listened.

she protested, saying she knew what was best for us. but i knew she was creating a trap in which we would fall right into.

"oh c'mon, have some faith in me, will you?" she replied, gripping the wheel tighter than she had before as a way of comforting herself.

i didn't want to be rude, infact i knew my mother just wanted closure but she was driving herself to her own living hell and she wouldn't have anything i told her.

"i've tried ma, for the past year i have. i've let you make every damn choice that concerns us but where has that landed you?" i asked her, wanting her to understand my motives.

i was looking out for the both of us. i didn't want us to have anymore suffering. my dad had already caused enough of it and i wasn't up for a round two, not now and not ever.

she remained quiet for the rest of the ride and we sat in silence, the only sound being the slight hum of the radio in the background and the little drizzles that hit the windscreen every now and then. i didn't try to convince her to turn back anymore. we were going back to long valley whether i liked it or not, she didn't give a shit about what i thought.

when the old sign leading to the side of Jersey that i never thought I'd see again came into view i almost collapsed.

my mom's grip on the wheel tightened once more as if she was trying to feel her surroundings to make sure this was real and it wasn't a dream.

"we're home," she sing-songed, sending me a short melancholic smile. i didn't reply, this was not home to me.

how was that?
sorry it's fucking short, i hate
first chapters and making
them long could potentially
send away readers and I'm not
up for that sksks.