human | g.d

i. newfound confidence

luna;

     ma always said that each chapter of our lives requires an old part of us to fall and a new part to rise. i had always lived by her words because they made so much sense that i couldn't think of questioning.

but now here i was at the cafeteria of crestford wondering how the hell i was meant to release the old part of me when it was all people knew. it was all they cared about.

so i mastered all my courage and i took that deep fucking breath that my mom had told me to when i was about to do something overwhelming. to ease my nerves.

"i one you one ma," i whispered and then i was walking to the nearest table in sight instead of sitting by myself.

i was going to make friends, i wasn't going to sit around and wait for it to happen to me because in crestford, people weren't like that. but i didnt care about the stupid rules that went on in this school. this was a new me.

the table had two people - a girl with strawberry blond bushy hair and a guy with black dreadlocks -  they gave me this look that could kill.

i knew i had made the wrong decision but everyone was staring at me due to my newfound confidence that i wasn't going to walk away.

"hi," i told them, smiling widely. i could feel the eyes on me as they waited for a rude, snarky response.

"girl, that was amazing," the guy told me, using his beautiful mixed-skinned hands to make his statement more fun and lively. with that, i laughed.

because i had never felt happier to see people look away and not say anything about me that was rude.

"thankyou so much," was what i said after and the guy introduced himself as andre and the girl - who seemed to still not like me - said she was vivian.

"viv, stop being a dick," andre had told her when she completely refused to talk to me and i wasn't suprised.

"dre, we have a reputation to keep. i love everything about you luna but i just can't go back to stage 1," she told me and i could see the tears in her eyes as she got up and left.

i saw mac turn and look at me, she stared for so long and i could swear she was trying to send some message to me without actually talking, like we always did when we were younger.

she looked away and so did i, andre had been looking the whole time.

"that girl, she misses you," he said before getting up himself. i got up too, not wanting to remain seated alone.

people watched as andre and i walked out of the cafeteria and for a second, i felt a surge of happiness. because these stares weren't rude or judging, they were just stares.

short and sweet?

sorry for not posting yesterday! two chapters coming right up.