human | g.d

e. broken friendships

luna;

      there's always going to be that one day that is fully imprinted in your brain that you could narrate word for word because it means alot to you, because it holds so much of who you are.

and now, the memories of the night i left long valley couldn't stop replaying. the way my parents were shouting at eachother in the car and the way my dad swerved us into a ditch and left us stranded, then he left us.

he got out of the car and he fucking walked away and i could hear my mom screaming his name and i could hear her crying, i could see mac's name on the caller id but I couldn't move.

i thought i died.

"what the fuck?" mac spoke, looking to grayson as if she was about to slaughter him but i couldn't let her blame him.

"it's not his fault," i managed to speak, feeling as if someone was tugging on my tongue and refusing me to talk.

"ofcourse it's not," she told me, her voice was stern but her expression read otherwise. she was on the verge of tears.

the mummers around us were sickening, the amount of fake stories that had managed to circle around in the span of a few minutes was absurd.

"i- listen, I'm sorry mac and xavier but there was nothing i could do about it. i know I've really fucked up but cmon, we've known eachother since birth. we can't let that go," i pleaded.

"that's what we thought," xavier spoke, his voice deeper than it had been since i last saw him,"you threw it all away. one whole year and you didn't even call or anything and yet you want to come and blame us? get a grip,"

his words cut through me like a knife and i felt like i was a wound that had been left unattended to. wide open and bleeding, uncared for.

"i'm trying, i really am. i didn't think you guys would want to talk to me after i hadn't called you for a whole week and then my mom told me to start a new life because she wasn't going to turn back so i threw out everything i used to know but i feel the pain of the loss everyday,"

no one spoke and i couldn't look at grayson anymore. he had seen me for who i really was; a selfish monster.

i didn't wait for them to tell me to leave, i had already ruined enough. a well planned party and people's moods.

the night felt cold and lonelier than it ever had and the tears stung hotter. but i forced myself on and dared not to look back for i had left my only hope at peace behind me, i had left my courage and dignity.

"luna,"

it was grayson again but this time he wasn't smiling but had a paper in his hand, he gave it to me and walked back to the crowd that i regretted looking back at. i had never seen so much joined hatred in a group of people.

and it was all directed to me.

it's short
I'm aware lol