human | g.d

f. mistakes

luna;

    my return had circled around the whole neighbourhood and soon all everyone could talk about was how my family was fucked up.

but isn't it human nature, to make mistakes? i made one big one and that had led to a whole damn city hating me yet they knew nothing about me.

their assumptions were pathetic and exaggerated but who was i to tell them that? it wasn't my place to even walk the streets of this place let alone breathe the same air as they did.

i was an outcast before they had even known me or the full story to how I had left my friends. well, if you could call them my friends now.

i stared at the unopened paper grayson had given me two days ago, unable to open it. i was scared it was some sort of hatred note of how he was mad at me for lying to him and i didn't want to bring myself down when every corner of this place had done just enough.

"lulu, start going out more. what happened to that boy you always walked around the neighbourhood with?" my mom had asked me, a small smile on her face when she walked into my room.

it seemed i had been wrong about my mom driving herself into her own living hell, she was always jolly and full of life that i wondered what i had been doing wrong. didn't she cut off her friends too? so how had they accepted her back that fast?

they were always over, laughing and talking like they had never missed a day without eachother.

"i will, don't worry mom," i assured her only to get her off my back.

she made me feel as if i was supposed to get my friends back immediately and that it was the way life worked, people just accepted you back.

well it wasn't the case for me and i doubt that was the way life was supposed to work anyway. so once she left, i wore an oversized hoodie and shorts and was out of the house for some fresh July air.

the paper was still in my hand and i couldn't let go of it, something in me had led me to opening it but I never looked, i wasn't ready for it.

but when I looked down, all i saw was some numbers on the paper and the name grayson. his phone number.

i stood still unable to believe he had still given me his number after what had happened. or was this a way to send hate to me?

i don't get it
3:05pm

i had sent him a message and somehow felt relieved about how fast i was able to make my mind and not regret it as soon as it had happened.

luna
3:09pm

what happened
at the party?
3:09pm

they haven't
told you?
3:10pm

shocker
3:10pm

none of them
want to talk about it
3:10pm

how do you
know them
3:11pm

wasn't it
obvious?
3:11pm

we used to be
friends but i moved out
and ghosted them for a year
3:11pm

damn
3:12pm

a whole year?
3:12pm

i would tell you the
whole story but I'm
not about to relive the
nightmare that was last year
3:12pm

I stopped texting him from then on, even when he sent me three other texts i didn't check nor reply to them. it was because he made me feel guilty. like i was somehow getting him into shit.

and i wasn't about that life. not in this point of juncture.

well, gray is still
tryna talk to her.