Lessons learned

Chapter 18

'You have to tell him Nic.' Jasmine tells me as I pace around her dorm. 'I know, god I know I do Jas.'

'Then why are you here? Just do it Nic.' She gave me a sympathetic look followed by an eye roll when I sigh and run my fingers through my unruly hair.

'I can't do it.' I bit down on my bottom lip trying to release some of the pressure from my body, failing of course.

'Why not?'

I stopped pacing and looked at her my heart beating faster than ever.

'Because Jas, he likes her. What is the point of even telling him?'

I sank down to the floor running over the limit options that I had left, at the end of the day I know that I have to tell him if I don't I know I'll hate myself.

'You don't know that Nic.'

I scoffed.

'Of course he does, have you seen the way he looks at her? He's fucking smitten for goodness shake.'

'Okay fine, let me put it this way; if you don't tell him now you'll be forever taunted with the what ifs. Maybe he's been waiting for you to confess your feelings for him, maybe he's liked you this whole time. If you don't tell him you'll regret it and you'll always think that there might have been that small chance that he liked you too.'

She's right, good God is she right but it's going to be so hard. He's not the same person that he was when I first met him.

'He's changed Jas.'

'Then change him back. Look Nic it only takes five seconds to tell him, five seconds of bravery.' She playfully nudged me and gently pulled my arm lifting me back up to my feet. I took in a deep breath and edged for the door.

'Thank you Jas, I'm going to tell him.' I shakily thank her as she embraces me in a hug. 'Call me when you've done it okay?'

'Of course.'

'Good luck hun.' I grabbed the door handle and left her dorm, breathing heavily. I've backed out of doing this before but now I know I can't.

I've been in this position multiple times and I've never been fully ready, I'm ready now though. It's now or never really.

I pulled out my phone and hastily dialed his number.

'Peter?'

'Nic?'

'Yeah hi.'

'What's up?'

'Can I meet you?'

He sucked in a breath before replying, my nerves on high alert.

'Nic I'm a little busy with Me-'

'It's urgent please Peter don't cut me out of your life, I need you.' I couldn't bear to hear that he's too busy with Megan to come and see me. I feel like I've lost my best friend, he's completely gone, thanks to her.

'Are you okay?' The worry was clear in his voice but he was so on edge, he must be around her.

'I have to tell you something Peter.'

'Oh, um okay well do you want to meet at my dorm?'

'Will we be alone?'

'Yeah the boys are doing other things.'

'And what about Megan? Will she be there?' I hesitate to ask.

'No she's just about to leave now.' She's with him right now, could my life get any worse?