Lessons learned

Chapter 29

Zeke walked in and strode over to the chest of drawers pushed up against the far wall, I sat up straight.

'Can I help you with something?' I politely asked, not knowing how to act with Abby's friends. Zeke didn't even turn to look at me as he continued to rummage through the drawer.

'Um Zeke?' I asked again standing up and walked up to him. I gently placed my hand on his arm, he pulled away harshly and finally looked up at me. His eyes were a powerful shade of green and I took a step back.

'Don't touch me.' He spat, I rolled my eyes and went to sit back on my bed.

'I just wanted to know what you were doing in here.'

'I live here I can go where ever I want, okay?' He continued his work, throwing socks all over the floor.

'I hope you're going to clean that up.' I scolded him.

'Wasn't planning on it.'

'Well I'm not going to do it.' I told him childishly, crossing my arms over my body.

'I'm not going to do it.' He mocked me in a high pitched voice.

'Do you have to be so rude!' I'm having a bad enough day as it is.

'It does seem that way doesn't it?'

'Got it!' He said happily holding up a card.

'What's that?'

'My credit card.' He stated matter a faculty.

'What's it doing in here?'

'Mind your own damn business, Nicolette.'

He moved to walk out of the room.

'It's Nic by the way.'

'Okay great I'll see you later Nicole.' He smirked before walking out leaving the door open.

My phone started to ring from beside me, I grabbed it and slide my thumb across the screen answering the private number.

'Hello?'

'Nic? Is that you? Hello? It's me Peter.' I froze as I processed the words floating out of my phone.

'Nic?'

I couldn't answer him, I didn't want to talk to him but I couldn't hang up.

'Nic, just please tell me you're okay. Where are you?'

Silence.

'Okay, just be safe. Don't do anything stupid.' Then he was gone.

I threw my phone relentlessly, satisfied when I heard a crash from somewhere across the stupidly big room. I placed my head in between my knees and cried, again.

I don't understand why this hurts so much, I feel like I've lost my best friend and with that I've lost myself. I hate it when people lie to me, it makes me feel completely alone. Everyone probably knew about Megan and Peter, of course they did.

I cried harder and my heart grew tighter against my rib cage, ready to burst. I don't know what will make any of this better.

He didn't pick you

He doesn't want you

It will never be you

You weren't good enough

He choose her over you

He'll never want to speak to you again

He hates you

You ruined your friendship

Everything's going to be different now

You'll loose all your friends

It's just you now, all alone

The sickening thoughts ran through my mind, I clutched my head and just screamed. I let the pain become me. I let it all go, finally.

I thought about the ways that I could end this self torture.

I wish there was a way out.

'Nic? Nic?' Someone's voice said, I didn't know who it was but in a second I was gathered into someone's arms and whisked away. I buried my head into the thick chest and sobbed quietly.

Soon after I was placed onto a soft bed, the mattress dipped and I was pulled into someone's arms. I opened my eyes and Ben looked down at me. 'So much for a first impression, eh?.' He laughed smoothly holding me tighter to him.

'I don't mean to be an inconvenience.' I told him, wiping my nose on my hand. 'Nonsense.' I started playing with my hair, patting it down then he rubbed my arm comfortably.

He reminded me of Peter.

'Is it a breakup?' He suddenly asked. 'No we didn't even get that far.' I laughed at the irony, that I was crying over a boy that never actually wanted me in the first place.

'That's even worse. So is he like dating someone else or?'

'Better, he's dating one of my oldest friends.' I inform him, he winces and mutters 'Ouch.'

'Yeah.'

'But did she know you liked him?'

'Yep, they both did. He was actually my best friend.'

'Oooo, so you basically killed two birds with one stone then?' He teased making me giggle. 'I guess you can put it like that.'

It's nice to laugh about the whole situation.

'Well it's alright, you don't need them in your life anyway.' He said as if it was a fact, then he kissed my forehead gently.

'Why are you being so nice to me?' I ask looking up at his perfect jawline.

'I don't know, you seem like you're going to be important to me.' I don't know what to make of his words so I just smile and place my head back on his chest.

'Nic? Are you okay? I came back to the room and you were gone and I was freaking out!' Abby said out of breath after she ran into the room.

'Sorry my fault.' Ben raised his hands in the air. 'She was in a bad state when I found her but it's okay super Ben came to the rescue.'

'Fuck, I'm sorry I left you Nic.'

'He rung me.'

'What? The fuck? I told him not to talk to you. What did you say?' She placed her hands on her hips in the motherly way that she normally does.

'Nothing, I let him talk and then he left.'

She exhaled in relief.

'Come on lets get changed.' She held out her hand to me.

'Where are we going?' I looked at Ben for reassurance. 'I thought I'd treat you two and go out.' I shook my head. 'No I don't want to leave.' Ben shrugged and stood up.

He smiled down at me before grabbing my ankles pulling me to the end of the bed. He lifted me over his shoulder and carried me back to my room. 'BEN!' I laughed.

'Yes?'

'Put me down?' I hit his stomach but he wouldn't release me.

'Nah.'

Lesson learned; don't be ashamed of letting all of your feelings go, sometimes that's what you need to do and you won't be judged for doing it.