Lessons learned

Chapter 11

'I'm so bored.' Peter complained lying his head back against my headboard, I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour but laid next to him. 'Isn't spending time with me enough?'

I turn my head slightly to look at his soft brown hair, his head turns too and I'm meet with deep blue eyes. 'Of course it is baby I'm just bored of sitting here doing nothing.' An idea grows in my head as a smirk covers my face. 'Well I know something that we could do.'

'And what would that be Miss Stone?' He winks looking down at me with such lust that it almost overwhelms me. Without another word I climb onto his lap my legs on either side of his torso. My lips immediately find his neck and I litter kisses along the warm surface. His hands travel to my back pulling my t-shirt up slightly so that he could gently press his fingers into my skin holding me in place.

My hands move to his cheeks as I cup them and bring my lips to his. The familiar fire finds it's place and takes over my entire body causing me to rock my hips against his growing bulge. His tongue slips into my mouth with ease, this slow kiss makes everything more intimate, it shows me how he feels. He's putting everything that he has into this kiss and I love it, I love him.

It's a different kind of love than what I had with Logan, because I know that he loves me back and that's the best feeling in the world. I finally feel like I'm good enough for someone, like I deserve a place in this world, right next to him.

I pull away from the kiss and place my forehead against his both of us breathing heavily. 'I love you Peter.'

'And I love you my little butt muncher.' He whispers back to me making me giggle.

'Nic? Nic?' I felt someone's touch on my arm, I pulled away from Peter and looked up at Indiana. I looked back down at Peter but he was starting to fade away leaving me alone with a mess of sheets on my bed, was that really just a dream?

Holy shit that felt so real.

'Are you alright Nic?' I rub my eyes and try to get myself out of this state of confusion.

I look around my dorm and then back in my bed, Peter isn't here. His absence weighs down on my chest in a way that it never has before, I wish that he was here with me right now. I want him to comfort me and hold me against his chest telling me how much he loves me.

I want him to love me.

'Nic? Are you alright?' She asks again and I finally bring myself to look at her. Concern is clear in her eyes.

'Yeah, I had a dream.'

'Do you want to talk about it?' She politely asks sitting next to me on my bed. 'No it's fine, I don't really remember it anyway.' I lie, of course I remember it it's as clear as day. 'Alright well what do you want to do today? It's Saturday so I'm sorry that I woke you up but I was bored and Calli's gone to the study hall.'

What do I want to do today? My subconscious is screaming Peter's name and I have no idea why.

'I want to hang out with everyone.' Or just Peter, yeah just Peter.

'Okay? Well get dressed and I'll go and invite them over.'

Once I'm dressed Indiana walks back into the dorm followed by Logan, James, Jasmine, Abby and Peter. My heart leaps out of it's cage when I see him. He looks like he normally does but something about him today makes me see him so differently.

'Hey guys.' I smile as they sit down, I walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers and handed one to Peter keeping the other for myself.

'Nic? What about the rest of us?' James laughs making me realise what I've done, I completely blanked everyone else. It seems like Peter is the only one on my mind at the moment. I shrug looking at James. 'If you want one go and get one yourself.'

I went to sit next to Peter, too close if I'm honest. Our thighs are touching and I'm on fire, what the hell is happening?

He turns to me and smiles and my chest begins to hurt. I have never felt like this before and the more he looks at me the more difficult it is for me to breath. I look away from him and fix my hair running my fingers through it frantically yet again caring about what he thinks of me.

'I see you didn't feel like shoe shopping today then Miss Stone?' He whispers to me as everyone else engages in conversation. 'Hopefull I will never have to do that again.' He smiles once more and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. 'What are you going to do on your wedding? Buy your shoes off line?' He teases.

Marriage? He's fucking talking to me about marriage?

'I haven't really thought about it to be honest.' I feel very nervous around him and it's getting on my nerves. 'Well you should start thinking about it Nic, you might have already found the person that you're going to marry.' My breathing hitches and I have no idea why, I try to calm down but I can't seem to. 'Maybe.' I answer simply and stand up trying to breath, I excuse myself from the group and walk outside.

The air hits me and it feels amazing, I'm grateful that summer is ending because this cool air enters my lungs allowing me to finally breath properly. I move to sit on one of the benches positioned outside the front of the uni. I need some time to think and clear my head and get make sense of all these confusing feelings.

'Nicolette?' I turn around to see Abby walking towards me, she sits on the bench and eyes me wearily. 'I'm fine.' I assure her. 'I didn't ask.' She shrugs.

'What are you doing out here?' I question as she takes in a deep breath. 'The same thing that you are, hiding.'

'What things are you hiding from?'

'The same things that you are. Myself, feelings, the future, just everything Nic.'

'I'm not hiding.'

Am I? I'm confused I know that much.

'What's going on Nic?'

'Peter.' I run my hands over my face and look at the grass that surrounds me. 'Do you like him?'

'I don't know Abbs I really don't I'm so fucking confused.' She lights up a cigarette and hands me it. I take a drag and let everything go and immediately calm down.

'What about?'

'Well for starters I can't stop fucking thinking about him, he's always on my mind.' I stand to my feet and start pacing. 'Then I've always got this stupid smile plastered to my face every time someone mentions him or I see him. Every time he talks about other girls I feel something deep within me and I don't know what it is I've never felt this way before and I'm so confused. He can make me so damn happy and my heart melts every time he smiles at me.' She listens without saying a word and it feels good to get this all out of my system.

'Have you thought about him in a sexual way yet?'

'I had a dream about him last night.' I admit. 'But it wasn't sexual in any way, we were dating and he was telling me that he loves me.'

'What about the kiss? Do you think this all has come from your kiss?' I didn't tell her that we kissed in the dream, we haven't kissed.

'I've never kissed him.'

'Yes you have you kissed him at that party, the one that Harly was throwing.' I gasp, he told me that I did shots off of his body but he didn't tell me that I kissed him. 'Fuck, I don't remember that.' I curse smoking again. 'That's probably where all of your feelings are coming from but it's safe to say that you like him and there is nothing that you can do about it.'

I couldn't possibly have a crush on him that's absurd. He's just a friend and that's all that he'll ever be despite this pull of attraction that I have towards him at the moment. It has to pass I can't get my heartbroken again not when I'm still patching up the wounds that Logan made.

Lesson learned; never go to frat parties with friends to drown your sorrows away unless you want to end up with a stupid crush.