Emily and Isaac had been in love since they were children. However, after Isaac lost his mother he pushed his dearest friend away. Hoping the distance between them would keep her safe. He did whatever he could to numb the pain her absence caused. Wh...
I awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. As I stiffened to stretch my muscles, I became aware of the strong set of arms engulfing my small frame. I froze in place, unsure of what to do. My heart fluttered but the sudden sensation to throw up was overpowering. I nervously turned to face the man I had tried so hard to forget and was surprisingly met by open ocean blue eyes.
"Good morning," his groggy voice vibrated through us due to our chests being firmly pressed together.
"Morning," I whispered in response, "I don't mean to sound rude but what happened to the pillow between us?"
"Oh, you started to have a bad dream, figured it would be best not to wake your parents again."
I raised my brow at him questionably, "That doesn't answer why the pillow is gone."
"When you had them before I would snuggle up to you and it always calmed you. I figured I would see if it still worked, and it did," he offered a small smile before unraveling his arms from my body to sit up against the headboard. "I should head out, it's almost seven."
I nodded, "Yeah, okay."
His expression was blank as he removed himself from the bed, "Thanks for allowing me to stay here."
"Of course," I smiled as I watched him pull his shirt over his head.
"Maybe keep this between us," he stated coldly as he slid his black converse on. "I don't want people getting the wrong idea, you know thinking we are friends again or something. You know?"
"Right," I said the hurt thick in my tone. I never intended to share the details of our night with anyone however it pained me to know he would be so offended by the knowledge being out there for others. Was I really so repulsive to him?
"Again, thanks though," he attempted to muster a smile, but it fell flat. Apparently even pretending to be happy in my presence was a chore anymore. I simply nodded as he threw the duffle bag over his shoulder and made his way quietly out of my room. Once I was painfully alone the flood gates opened and I allowed all of the frustration and pain to pour out of me, the warm liquid staining my blotchy cheeks. I wanted to help him, and I did, but at what cost? My shoulders shuddered uncontrollably as I was unable to get ahold of the emotions that ripped through me. I knew I risked old wounds being torn open by allowing him to stay, and I was right. I laid there curled up in the silence of my room, bleeding out from lacerations left years before.
Other than retrieving my jeep from Max's I remained hidden in the confines of my four walls, not wanting to face the world. My mother brought me a grilled cheese at some point when she realized I had no intention of making contact with anyone outside of my room. She believed my behavior was due to the nightmare I claimed to have had, but it was the product of a much worse truth. I had allowed him into my room, I had allowed him into my bed, and I had allowed him to shatter all of the healing I had managed to process. I understood a part of me would always be his, I just hadn't realized how much of me that was until that night, he had all of me. Forever. Yet, he would never want me. Never.
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