His Only Savior | #Wattys2019

Chapter 5

I sat on the burning track, my body radiating its own scorching heat. We had run through our routines at the beginning of practice and Becca had the brilliant idea to finish with an intense training circuit. Consisting of: burpees, slammers, wall crawls, stairs and to top it off a two-mile run. I was emotionally and physically drained to say the least. I buried my head between my knees, as I took deep breaths, trying to calm my erratic breathing.

"Hey babe." Sean's voice shattered the peace I had just worked so hard to create in my body and mind.

"What do you want?" I asked with venom on my tongue, making my annoyance with his presence clear.

"Don't tell me you're still mad." It wasn't a question he really had the nerve to stand there and tell me not to be angry.

I shot to my feet and shoved him hard, causing him to take a step back. "I have every right to be mad. You had the audacity to pretty much tell me we need to have sex. What part of I'm not ready do you not understand?" I spotted Isaac over Sean's shoulder and my eyes lingered longer than they should have, causing Sean to transform into nothing but a blur.

"Is this seriously still because of that fucker?" His words brought my attention back to him, I couldn't have hidden my reaction if I wanted to. My eyes went wide, and my mouth hung slightly agape. I didn't understand how we had gotten to this point. Everything was finally going good in my life and then Isaac just had to ruin it all.

I furrowed my brow and spat, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Don't pretend like I don't know. You were crazy about him and when you realized he'd never want you back you finally gave me a chance. I'm not naive to that fact. So, tell me the truth Emily. Is this because of him?"

"What if it is?" I wasn't sure what response I expected, but it was as if time skipped. One second Sean was in front of me and the next he had tackled Isaac to the piping hot track, pummeling his face as hard as he could. It took Isaac a few seconds to react but when he did, he flipped them over, Sean's back connecting with a thud onto the hard surface below. The air that once filled his lungs expelled with a groan as he pined for the leverage to throw another blow. Everyone watched in utter curiosity at the scuffle unfolding. However, what everyone found most peculiar was Isaac didn't seek retaliation. Once he obtained the upper-hand he simply climbed off of his attacker and held up his hands in surrender.

Sean laid there dumbfounded, Isaac did not give him the satisfaction he had been looking for. I'm sure he had wanted to prove he was the better man, but Isaac proved him wrong. I released a breathy laugh as I looked at him with a smirk. "He isn't the reason I'm not ready, you are."

"Babe," he called after me as I walked away. "Emily!"

"What Sean?" I spun around on my heels as I threw my hands up in frustration. "What?"

"I'm sorry. Okay? I just-I don't get it. I have been nothing but perfect for you. Generous and affectionate. Yet somehow, he still has his claws in you, after all these years. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong." The tears began to pool in his eyes and the weight of the day suddenly hung heavy on my heart.

"I don't know what you want me to say Sean."

"Tell me you love me. Tell me what I'm saying isn't true."

"I-I can't tell you that. I'm sorry. I do love you, but I can't do this right now." I tried to smile but failed miserably before turning to walk away leaving Sean standing there heartbroken and confused.

I couldn't look back. I adored Sean, but I wasn't sure he would ever be the person I would want to share that part of myself with. Grabbing my cheer bag from the pile I headed for my jeep. I was trying so hard to keep the emotions that were sieging contained, but with each step my resilience and strength wavered. It seemed the closer I got to my vehicle the more the tears demanded freedom. As I rounded the back of my jeep, a single one escaped rolling down my cheek.

"Hey," a familiar voice whispered pulling my attention from the adventure I was having in my bag for the keys.

"Uh, hey." I wiped away the wetness on my cheek, hoping he hadn't noticed.

"Do you want to tell me what that was about?" I couldn't find the words I just stood there staring at the fresh wounds on his face. I hadn't realized the track burn he received near his temple at the time, but it was painfully obvious now. When Sean tackled him, he must have skidded across the tracks surface, tearing up the delicate skin. "Emily?"

"What? Sorry, I was—"

"Staring? I noticed, I'll be fine. I just want to know what the hell that was about." His eyes showed no emotion which only made me feel more on edge.

"I-I just. It was nothing," I shrugged. "Call it male pride if you want. He thinks you're the reason I won't sleep with him."

"Am I?"

"Are you what?" My heart raced, I knew I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Am I the reason you won't sleep with him?"

I studied his face but still he gave nothing away. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to be honest or if he wanted reassurance that my answer would be no. "I don't know. I think I'm just not ready." I paused trying to gage a reaction from him, but none came. "I just think if I'm going to share that part of myself with someone, I don't want any doubt in my mind about it. You know?" I scuffed. "I suppose not, you share that part of yourself with everyone." I hadn't meant for the words to escape my lips but once they started to roll out there was no stopping them. My hands flew to my mouth, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

He smirked, "It's fine, you're just stating facts."

"Maybe, but it doesn't make it right. I shouldn't judge your choices, as you said this weekend, we aren't friends. I lost the right to judge your actions a long time ago."

His lips parted as shock consumed his face, and there it was a reaction. I clenched my jaw as I walked around him to climb into my jeep, but he stopped me. His left arm snaked around my waist so he could pull me in until his lips were pressed against my ear. "I know I'm hurting you, but I promise it's better if we aren't friends."

He took a large breath in, inhaling my scent before walking off. I wanted to say something, anything, but nothing came out. I was frozen, what did he mean by that? I finally defrosted enough to turn around as he was mounting his bike. His eyes were glued to me, wearing what appeared to be a look of longing. However, that couldn't be right. He had spent the last three years doing anything and everything to avoid and hurt me. Why should now be any different?