His Only Savior | #Wattys2019

Chapter 7

"Emily," my eyes started to peer open but fell closed quickly. "Em, look at me. God damnit Em, open your eyes for me." Becca's voice rang in my ears, but I still couldn't find the energy to pry open my lids. "Isaac grab the trash can," a bustling of movement broke the once peaceful silence I had been slipping into.

"Becca take this," a set of warm hands slid under me until I was nestled into a large chest. I was suddenly engulfed by Isaac's familiar musty scent. Unable to open my eyes, it all felt dream like.

"Isaac," I mumbled.

"It's okay, I've got you. I'm right here, Em," he whispered gently. "I'm so sorry," his voice cracked.

"Emily, we're going to need you to throw up." Nodding my head in refusal I buried myself deeper into Isaac. "I need you to get her over the can." He did as she asked, having me lean over his arm. "You're not going to like this Em," Becca stated firmly as she held my head in her palms. I finally managed to open my eyes as Becca forced her fingers into my mouth, activating my gag reflux. My body tensed as the brown liquid I had consumed expelled from my stomach. Becca repeated the action, forcing me to respond again until my stomach felt lite as a feather.

"Thanks," I forced a smile before spitting out the contents I had gathered in my mouth. Isaac sat me up all the way and pressed me into his chest again. He stroked my hair to sooth my quivering body. I hadn't consumed a single bite of food all day, so my body felt weak.

"Becca, she's going to need a shower. She has puke all in her hair." If I didn't feel so sick, I would have been embarrassed but in that moment all I wanted to do was remain in his arms for the rest of my life.

"Her sheets need to be washed too," she groaned. "Emily why would you do this to yourself?"

Tears streamed my cheeks as I gripped the fabric of Isaac's shirt. "I don't know. I just hurt. I-I love him." I hadn't meant to form the words out loud, but I couldn't hide the truth any longer. "I always have but I suppose that will never be enough. Will it?" Reaching for Becca I mustered the strength to stand, "Can I go shower now?"

"Of course," she forced a smile as she took my hand to steady me. Isaac stood to help but I held up my free hand pleading for him to just leave me be. Once in the bathroom Becca striped me down and helped me into the shower. Nothing but concern was present in her eyes.

"Em, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"As soon as the rally got over Isaac and I headed over. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have waited. I feel horrible," she bit back her own tears.

"This isn't your fault, it's mine," I forced a smile.

"I know it's not mine, it's his."

"This isn't his fault either, I was stupid and got my hopes up when there was no reason to." I forced a smile, "I love you Bec."

"I love you too Em. I have to go wash your sheets, will you be okay?" I nodded in response. "Okay, well I'll shut the curtain and ask Isaac to at least sit in here just in case."

"No, I'll be fine," I lied. I felt like the room was spinning and really didn't want to keep my eyes open any longer. With a sigh she left for my room and a few hushed words were exchanged before Isaac made his way into the room.

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

"Um," he stuttered, "did you get your hair washed?"

"No." My head was resting against the wall of the shower, allowing the warm water to run down my curled body.

"Do you want me to wash it?" He broke the silence after a few moments.

"Mmmm," was all I got out. I wasn't sure if it was a yes or more of a thought, and apparently, he was just as confused by my response.

He pulled the curtain back just enough to see me. "Was that a yes?"

"Mmmm," was all I formed again too tired to say much else. He pulled the curtain open a little further until he could sit on the side of the tub. He placed some of my shampoo in my hair and began running his fingers along my scalp.

"Emily, please know that I love you." My heart skipped a beat. "I just don't want to hurt you." He worked the shampoo down the length of my hair, causing a slight moan to escape my lips. Having him this close to my naked body sent my mind into a frenzy. "I don't want to be like my dad, but what if I am? What if I get angry and hurt you?"

I glanced over my shoulder to look into his eyes, and to my surprise they weren't cold this time. He just seemed lost. "Isaac the thing is, by pushing me away you are guaranteed to hurt me—"

"Em, oh!" Becca's eyes were wide at the sight of Isaac and me. "Sorry, um, I can finish for you."

He nodded as he stood up from the tub to walk out into the hall. "I should probably get back to school, will I see you both there?" His question was directed towards Becca.

"I'm going to keep Em here, I don't think she should go back to school today," Becca frowned.

"You're probably right," there was something unreadable behind his eyes. "Would you like for me to leave my number on your desk in case you need something?" I nodded my head yes before turning to watch the water disappear down the drain. I was confused now more than ever, were we friends or was he only offering his help out of pity.

Becca finished washing my hair before helping me climb out of the tub and back into my room. She pulled a baggy sweatshirt over my head then helped me slip on a pair of fresh underwear. "You can go back to school if you want," I suggested as I crawled back into my bed to hide under the covers. "I promise I won't do something like that again."

"I know, but I still don't want to leave you," she smiled as she climbed into the bed beside me. My journal had still been sitting on my nightstand, and her jaw dropped when she spotted it. "I thought you threw this thing out!" She dove over the top of me to grab ahold of it. "May I?"

The excitement in her voice made it hard to say no, "Fine."

I watched as she flipped through the pages. "God no wonder you drowned yourself in alcohol, I forgot how crazy you were about him."

"You mean how crazy I am about him. He still has this hold on me Bec. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to shake him," a nervous laugh passed my lips. "He said he loves me."

"What? When?"

"When he was washing my hair," I chuckled. "He might have just said it to be nice though."

"He was a dick by just cutting you off, but you should have seen him at the rally. He could not settle down for a second, he just kept checking his phone. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was waiting for a text from you even though he knew it wouldn't come. Especially since you don't have his number." She smiled at me as she flipped through the pages of the journal.

"Really?" My cheeks heated up at the thought.

"Yes, really. He wanted to go after you when you stormed off, but he was worried you'd slap him again," her belly tightened as she chuckled.

"I probably would have to." I snagged the book from her hands. "Do you think if I had told him all this back when we were kids that things would be different?"

She pulled me in for a hug. "I don't know sweetie, but I don't think it would hurt to show him."

"Really?"

"At this point does it really matter? He's either going to keep you at a distance like he has the last three years, or he could finally let you back into his life. Who knows maybe that journal is the key to him deciding the latter." She pulled the pages from my hand and tossed it back on the nightstand. "Try and get some rest. If your parents ask, we both came home sick."

"Deal," I smiled. Curling into my best friend, "Thanks for coming to check on me."

She nuzzled her head against mine, "I'll always be here for you no matter what. I may not understand your feelings for Isaac, but if you are positive, he is what you want then I say go get him." My cheeks flushed as my eyes drifted closed, I was finally able to give into the fatigue that consumed me.