His Only Savior | #Wattys2019

Chapter 16

I stirred awake at the sensation of someone lifting me up, his intoxicating scent overcoming me.  My eyes flickered to life as he carried me in his arms up the stairs and back into my room.  Laying me on the bed carefully.  "I heard your mom go to bed and figured you fell asleep on the couch."

Smiling I slid my hand into his then pulled him gently into the bed beside me.  My mom's words rolled around in my head all night before the exhaustion of the day set in, sending me into a deep sleep.  I wanted to trust my instincts, my body was screaming that this was right.  That we were right.  "We made a deal to live in the moment today, right?"

He furrowed his brow but nodded his head yes.

Wrapping my hands around his neck I forced our lips to meet momentarily.  "I have wanted you for so long, only you Isaac."  I swallowed the lump in my throat, having to force my next words out before I could chicken out.  "I want to lose myself in you like I never have with anyone else."  The words felt foreign, but the desperation and desire did not.  I sucked in my cheeks waiting patiently for him to process what I was asking.

"Are you sure?"  He finally broke the looming silence, "I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for."

"I'm positive," my cheeks flushed pink, "as long as you want to as well—"

"It's sad you even feel the need to ask that Em."  He smirked as his lips captured mine, possessing the same hunger they had the previous night.  His warm hands explored ever curve of my body, desperate to memorize every detail.  My senses felt heightened, every touch, kiss and groan that escaped him only made me want to dive further into him.  Breaking the kiss so that his eyes could meet mine he whispered, "Are you sure you don't want me to stop?  I don't want—"

Placing my finger against his lips I halted his words.  I climbed out of my bed before facing him nervously.  "I want all of you," the words road out on a shaky breath.  Timidly I removed my clothing as he watched in anticipation, clearly nervous for what was to come.  Knowing I could make him feel this way despite his experience brought me peace.  Once all my clothing laid on the floor, I walked up to him mustering as much courage as possible to remove his shirt.

His eyes were glued to mine despite my naked body being only inches away.  "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen Emily Lahey."  He stood so his lips could reach mine.  He swept me up into his arms and laid me gently in the middle of my bed before removing his remaining pieces of clothing.  "I want all of you, forever," he confessed.

The rest of the night blurred into a memory that would never fade.  Every kiss and every touch shared seared into my brain where it would remain for the rest of my days.  There was absolutely no question in my mind that I would love him forever.  For the first time in a long time it was him and I through thick and thin, and we were in it together until the very end.

I awoke to Isaac thrashing in the bed beside me, quiet groans escaping him.  His breathing rigid.  Wrapping my arms around him I whispered calmly in his ear, "Shh, everything is okay.  I'm right here Isaac.  I'm right here."  He sprung to life forcing me onto my back, his weight crushing me.  His hand snaked around my throat as he squeezed tightly.  I tried to speak but no sound came out.  My eyes pleaded for him to let go but he remained frozen, his fingers digging into my flesh.  Every muscle in his body was flexed, his face filled with hatred.  I gasped for air, but none could enter my burning lungs.

Tears streamed my face as the world around me began to fade.  His eyes were open, but they were not seeing.  It was as if he was in a trance.  As I slipped into unconsciousness his grip gave way allowing me to suck in a breath of fresh air. "Emily," his voice was full of concern.

My eyes flickered open as I sat up in bed pulling away from him.  I wasn't afraid of him, I knew he would never intentionally hurt me.  I just needed space, the room felt small as I tried to calm my breathing.  He shoved himself away from the bed, his whole body shaking, his jaw quivering.  I stood to calm him, but he shoved me away.  "Isaac, it's okay.  It was an accident."

"I could have killed you Em," the tears swelled in his eyes.

"But you didn't, I'm okay."  I stepped forward again, but he countered my movements keeping the distance between us.

"I knew this would happen, I knew I would hurt you."  Although he spoke out loud his words were directed at himself.  "I can't do this.  We can't do this," his eyes pleaded for me to understand.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"  My eyes went wide.  Anger seeped in, my stomach twisting in knots as my throat suddenly felt dry.  My eyes pierced into his, "Is that really what you want?  After everything we shared today?"

"It's for the best Em, I could have killed you tonight.  What if next time I can't stop?"  His cheeks were blotchy as the tears streamed them at an alarming rate.

"I don't know, but I'm fine.  You didn't kill me!  I'm still standing here yet you want to toss me to the side again because the risk isn't worth the reward to you.  You have made that painfully clear."  My voice raised in volume, "Just go!  I clearly mean nothing to you, so go!"

"Emily, please—" He stepped forward desperate for my understanding.

"No, I'm done.  I have given you everything and it wasn't enough.  I want you to leave."

"Em, please let me explain."  His voice shook as he reached out for me, but it was my turn to refuse his touch.

"I don't ever want to see you again.  I am begging you please leave," my voice cracked as I held back my tears.  Refusing to let him see anything but my rage.  Without saying a word, he attempted to close the distance again, but I shoved him firmly causing him to tumble backwards against the desk.  "I said go," I screamed at the top of my lungs desperate for him to disappear.

The sound of my mom's footsteps running down the hall caused him to scamper out of the window and into the darkness of night.  My mom threw my door open as I crumbled to the ground, my emotions flowing out of me.  Every inch of my body trembling.  I knew I should have protected myself.  Why couldn't I have just walked away?