His Only Savior | #Wattys2019

Chapter 32

As I awoke one morning, I outstretched my arms in search of his warmth but found the bed beside me empty.  Rolling off the mattress I slid my feet into my slippers before searching the house for Isaac, but he was nowhere to be found.  After grabbing a cup of coffee, I went out onto the porch to grab the newspaper and there he was sitting on the front steps.  My presence went unnoticed as his shoulders jolted with each silent sob.  "Isaac?"

His large frame stiffened under the throw blanket draped around him.

"Isaac, are you okay?"

He wrapped his arms around his own shoulders, finding the courage to speak.  "I dreamed of her again."  His voice was just above a whisper, the pain evident in his confession.

I found my place beside him before wrapping my arms around him, his body melting into mine.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's always the same, me reliving the worst day of my life."  My heart ached as he heaved against my chest, burying himself deeper into me.  "When I found her, I wasn't even sure it was her.  The only thing that gave her away," gripping my left hand he examined the wedding ring that once belonged to his mother, "was this."

"I know, I'm so sorry.  I wish there was something more I could say, but there are no words that can ease your pain."

"Being here by my side is enough.  It always has been, and it always will be."  He lifted his head just enough to offer me a meaningful gaze before laying it in my lap.  "I'm glad they are shipping me to Japan, I don't think I could take another tour into the war zone."

His statement seemed odd at first, but I knew it was because of the trauma he had endured throughout his life.  He wasn't sure how much more he could take.  "Just remember one more trip over seas and you're done."

"About that," he sat up to meet my gaze. "I was approached to reenlist."

"Well you didn't agree to it did you?"  My throat suddenly felt hoarse at the thought of him taking the offer without first discussing it with me.

"Of course not, but I am considering it.  I wanted to run it by you first."  He searched my face for clues, but I revealed nothing as my mind mulled over the question.

"I have had to share you for the last four years, I don't know if I could share you much more than that."  My stomach twisted as I waited for his rely.

"I understand."  He pulled me against him, pressing his lips firmly against my head.  "I love you, Em."

"I love you."

"Are you hungry?" He grinned at me, his mood visibly lifting with each passing second.

"Starving."  I smiled as he helped pull me to my feet, leading the way into our home.

Isaac cooked up an amazing breakfast that we devoured while catching up on the last eight months, there was only so much you could write in a letter.  At some point my eyes grew so heavy I finally had to excuse myself to take a nap.  He laid with me in bed until I was fast asleep.

My eyes flashed open at the sound of banging, panic setting in.  It sounded as if someone was throwing things around the house.  Shooting to my feet as quickly as possibly I ran out of the room and towards the sound.  When I entered the living room there were possessions thrown throughout the room, the couch barricading the front door.

"You need to hide, they're coming!"  Isaac demanded when he noticed me standing in the hall, his eyes filled with fear.

"Who is coming?"  Keeping my voice calm I approached him, afraid speaking loudly would spook him further.

"They're watching us."  He ignored my question.  "You need to hide."

"Isaac no one is out there, I'll show you."  I walked passed him to move the couch when he suddenly slammed me against the wall.

"No, you can't let them in."  His teeth gritted as his venomous glare pierced into my eyes.  "I won't let them hurt you...not again!"

"Isaac please no one is out there.  No one is going to hurt me."  I flinched as his fist connected with the wall beside my head, leaving a crater in the drywall.

"Lies!"

"Isaac," my voice shook, "who do you think I am?" My breathing ceased at the sudden realization of what was occurring, panic settling into the pits of my gut.

"Corporal Calhan," he raised his brow at me.  My heart sunk, even though he stood in the safety of our home his mind was still very much somewhere else.  "We need to stay inside, do you understand?"

I nodded, his body finally relaxing as he removed his arm from across my chest, allowing me to step away from the wall.  "Isaac?"

"Yes, Corporal?"

"I will hide with you, but I need you to look at me."

"I am looking at you," he was clearly confused as he looked me over.

"Isaac?"  I reached for his face, but he pulled away with disgust.  "Isaac, I'm not Corporal Calhan.  I-I'm your wife, Emily."

His face scrunched up as he looked me up and down.  It was if a switched flipped and he suddenly stumbled back, dread setting in as he looked at the mess he had made.  "Em?"

"Hey it's okay."  I reached for him, but he swatted at my hands.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," I smiled reassuringly.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you."  I reached for him again and this time he allowed me to console him.  I pulled him against me, allowing him to release any built-up emotion.  He buried himself into me, his tears creating a damp spot on the fabric of my shirt.  "It's okay, I'm right here."  His knees buckled, causing the two of us to crumble to the ground

"P-please don't be scared of me," he stuttered out.

"I could never be scared of you.  As I have said so many times before you are worth every risk, this is no different.  I love you and I trust you with my whole heart.  Nothing you do could ever scare me away." I am unsure how much time we spent there in our shared embrace, but I refused to let him ago until he did.  I knew he needed that connection just as desperately as I did.