Indescribable | Ethma

thirty

light suddenly shines through into my car. instantly i knew it was ethan. he got here much quicker then ten minutes.

i tried wiping away the tears as i sobbed into the steering wheel but nothing helped.

i see ethan quickly get out of his car not bothering to park or even turn it off as he runs over to the side of my car.

his hair was messy and he was wearing gray joggers with a black sweatshirt. his hood was halfway on his head and his eyes looked dark. he looked worried.

he opened the passenger door as quickly as he could and we made eye contact for about a split seconded before he pulled me into his arms.

we didn't say anything as i sat on top of him crying onto his shoulder harder by the seconded. his big arms wrapped tightly around me making me feel safer.

i continued to sob into his hoodie not wanting to let go of him. his hand rubbed up and down my bare back.

five more minutes passed of this and my sobbing didn't slow down one bit.

"emma take deep breaths." ethan finally says.

i try to calm down but it doesn't help much.

"it's okay i'm here now just me and you." he says again squeezing me tight.

after a couple more minutes i was finally calmed down enough to be able to talk to him. thankfully.

i pull away and look into his eyes before looking away out the window.

"i-i'm sorry." i choke out.

"sorry? emma there is absolutely nothing to be sorry about." he says in an almost demanding voice.

he was intimidating that's for sure.

"i look bad, i'm a mess." i then say trying my best not to stutter over my own words.

"emma i don't fucking care how you look. all i care about is if you are okay." he says pulling me into another hug.

"yeah i'm okay." i mumble into his sweatshirt.

his grip loosens allowing me to sit back against the dash board.

"ready to tell me what happened?" ethan asks me softly in a calm voice.

i nod at him not breaking eye contact.

"it's chris. he's back in my life for good. he's the only reason we make money. but he fights with my mom constantly and will even physically beat her and then when he's done w-with that he will leave and then come back drunk or high." i say all in one breath quickly.

"slow down. calm down." ethan then says.

i can tell he was still trying to process all of it. i would be too. he knew chris was bitch and that my family was a little fucked up but not this fucked up.

"and then my mom t-tried telling m-me she l-loves him." i say as tears start to form in my eyes again.

"they make my life m-miserable." i say managing to keep the tears down.

ethan brought me into another hug.

"they are your family though emma. you love them." ethan says shakily.

"but ethan i don't love them. i only love you and i fucking mean that." i say pushing his arm from off of my waist.

he nods but doesn't say anything. i knew he didn't understand.

"i just want to leave e. i can't be here anymore. i know your going to be mad at me but i don't want to go to college. i don't think i can even finish highschool." i say to him knowing he wouldn't like what's coming out of my mouth.