Indescribable | Ethma

thirty one

i turn around to see ethan pulling away from my house where i take a deep breath before opening the door.

i walk inside where the smell of bacon and eggs fill my nose.

i look into the kitchen where i see Chris making eggs and my mom reading a book at the counter with bacon beside her.

"emma, hey!" my mom says setting her book down.

"hey sweetie i made breakfast and i'm glad your here to enjoy it!" he says all cheerfully.

oh fuck you guys.

i don't say one word completely ignoring their presence as i walk up to my room not bothering to get food.

id rather starve if i'm being honest.

i close my door and lay on my bed. i grab my computer from my backpack knowing i had a ton of work to catch up on.

i feel emotionally exhausted though. i just wanted to sleep. so i did that instead of doing homework.

i turned off my computer right when i opened it and threw it to the end of my bed.

-

i finally woke up where i checked the time on my phone which read 12:00 pm. shit i slept for 4 hours.

i open my texts to see ellie and hannah at the top of the list. i open ellie's first considering it was at the top.

ellie: Hey, u good? guessing u r with ethan considering you both aren't at school.

emma: yeah i'm good love you

i decide to reply with that considering she couldn't really ask me anymore questions

hannah: hey babe i got all your school work from your classes. hope you okay love you

emma: yeah love you too:)

i then turn off my phone and let out a long sigh before grabbing my computer again for try number two.

i got somewhat some stuff done but not nearly as much as i wanted too.

i decide to go back on my phone having the lowest attention span ever where i saw ethan had texted me.

ethan: Hey there's a party tonight and i'm thinking it could help you get your mind off some stuff.

emma: don't think i'm feeling it. sorry.

ethan: no i totally understand. want me to come over later?

emma: i just want to be alone tonight. i love you though. i'll see you tomorrow.

ethan: nah it's good i get it. i love you too em. let me know if you need anything.

i don't reply almost feeling a little guilty from the whole situation. i honestly don't know why i didn't want to go but it just didn't interest me.

that's when my stomach started filling with butterflies and i run to the bathroom where i throw up. i didn't feel bad though or sick.

it was almost as if i was throwing up because i was anxious.

i walk to the sink where i notice the dark circles under my eyes. i splash cold water over my face before getting back into my bed. i turn on my TV and watch movies and shows till 7pm.

"fuck it's already 7." i say to myself seeing the time on my phone.

i walk downstairs to see chris not here which made me a little relieved.