Even If It Kills Me (One Direction and The Vamps Fan Fiction)

Chapter 46

James's POV

"James? What do I do now?" Tristan asks once he enters my room.

"Wait. Only time will tell. She needs time for sure, especially to figure out the Harry situation. Hardest part though may be that she has to choose, but I think she already chose." I tell Tristan.

He slowly nods, then climbs into the bed I'm not using. I knew that seeing Emma so miserable was the worst feeling, because I know the feeling also. The feeling of being so scared. Scared of loving the girl and realizing she means the world to you. For him it's Emma, for me it's Katie.

I know I rejected her on the bus, but that was the other side of me again. The side that hurt her so badly before. Cat helped a little last time, but I don't think anyone but Katie can help now.

I thought back to the moment on the bus, when I rejected Katie. When I broke her heart. Her heart that cared so much for you no matter how bad of a person you might be. The heart that will forgive you no matter how bad the situation.I think about the way Katie used to look at me. Full of happiness and passion. And I ruined that.

I look over at my phone, and see that I have a missed call from Katie. Sadness grabs me, hard. The one I like, the one I love-

Do I? Do I love her?

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No.

I didn't know. I thought I did. I thought I loved her. I thought that we could get married, have kids, raise them to be superstar musicians and-

What's she good at? I've been so focused on trying to get her back, I stab her in the back and realize I didn't have a clue about her.

Tristan did. He used to be her boyfriend, what I want to be now.

But what about Niall? Does she love him the way he loves her? I know that he loves her, more than a crush. But her?

My phone vibrates from a text from Katie.

I want to talk

I look at it for a moment, sigh, and type in four letters.

Okay.

Katie's POV

I'm all alone in my hotel room. I know Tristan and James are in their room together, and I don't have a clue of where Niall is. Cat's obviously with Brad, and I'm assuming Zayn is with Emma, though I'm not quite sure. I decide to text James, to tell him that I'm done with boys. Him. Niall. I can't take in the thought that they're just going to leave me or stab me in the back again.

I want to talk.

I look at my phone after I send the text message to James, scared for what his reply would be. My breathing became even and normal when he replied, though.

Okay.

I take in a deep breath, then begin to type. I feel my fingers shake, but I keep typing.

So...I'm kind of giving up on boys. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself, James. Please. Don't. You're a very special guy, believe me. Everyone has problems, everyone has worries. Fears. It's just something that we have to live with. Regret. Pain. Remember that I'll always love you, just I can't afford another broken heart. My first one was bad enough, but that was eighth grade so I won't talk about it. So please, James, don't blame this on yourself. I'm going to dump Niall too, I think. I just...I need to protect Emma and be with Cat more. I love you, James. Don't forget that. Please.