Even If It Kills Me (One Direction and The Vamps Fan Fiction)

Chapter 53

Brad's POV

I miss Cat, no surprise there. I still don't know exactly what I did wrong, although I've wasted time, lying alone, thinking of every reason possible.

"I just want her to come back to me . I want her to kiss me and just sit here with me like before." I tell Connor.

Connor is taking his turn at cheering me up. He's sitting next to me as I lay on the couch in my living room, we have a few days at home before getting back to shows. Connor has barely left my side since the break up, he says it's because Cat would want me to be happy and would want him to succeed at making that happen. I trusted his words and opinions because he was already one of my best friends and he had probably become Cat's best friend on the tour. Still, no one could completely cheer me up. I don't know how I'm supposed to be happy when I can't see the girl I love anymore.

I used to wake up every morning knowing the day would be great because it was another day that I got to spend with the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. Now, it's just a normal day. Don't get me wrong, playing shows and the support of the fans is amazing, but somehow gigs were better with Cat. Everything was better with Cat, food even tastes different without her. And she left her impression on me, I've even found myself saying some of the phrases she used to say. But when I say those words, they sound wrong without her lips wrapped around them. She had me at a point where I was ready to leave the entire world behind just to be with her.

Connor has been pretty quiet and shy this whole time, just listening to me and petting Jesse.

"It just seems like the time I was with her was the happiest I've ever been, which is saying a lot because I'm a generally happy person all the time. I wasn't ready to see her go. Did I do something stupid? Did I ruin it somehow?" I continue to go on and on to Connor.

"No I don't think you did, that's what confuses me. I swear, she was really into you, I could tell. I have no idea why this happened, but there has to be someway to get her to want you again. She couldn't just throw away all her feelings in one day." Connor comforts me.

"Maybe, hopefully there's something I can do." I bury my face into the dog sitting next to me on Connor's lap.

"Awww, Jess." I rub her back.

"I'm going to listen to some music." I sigh and tell Connor, picking up a pair of earbuds.

I open my music app and go to select a playlist. I notice a new one called 'Cat <3 ;)', she must have made it on my phone awhile back. I check it and it's filled with songs from many of Cat's favorite artists: Ed Sheeran, All Time Low, Echosmith, Paramore, and Panic! At The Disco to name a few. And she even added a couple Arctic Monkeys songs for me.

After clicking shuffle, Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood came on. This is one of my absolute favorite songs, I even did a cover of it. The rest of playlist was pretty great too, Cat has lovely taste in music. Guess I'll add that to the list of things I love about Cat, her music taste. A song I never heard came on and I checked to see what it was. Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab. The song's lyrics sparked something in me.

If love's a fight, then I shall die

With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war,

You better know what you're fighting for

Well, baby you are all that I adore

If is what you need, a soldier I will be