DIFFERENT [BWWM]✔

Chapter 16

"Would you mind if I drive?" He asks

"Please" I whisper, handing the keys over to him. My voice sounding like one that doesn't belong to me. I slip into the passenger seat of my car.

What is happening to me?

I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't allow Mackenzie's words to affect me like this. I am stronger than this. I am better than this. I am different. I can fight this.

Wait. What about-

"I'll send someone to come and get it?" He answers my unspoken question about what happens to his car when we leave it.

"Okay. Thank you for being here" I say sincerely, loving the feeling and comfort that comes with someone being there for you when you need them.

"No worries. I got you" he says, intertwining our fingers together over the center console. I look at our hands, that fit so perfectly. A small smile makes it way to my face, my heart beating erratically at the feeling of his hand in mine.

I lean my head against the window, wishing that I at least 'got' myself. But it's okay to cry. It's okay to let the emotions out. It's okay to not be in control for just a little while, to allow yourself to drown the pain and sadness. It's okay. But I'm done with it. I am coming out stronger, bigger and better.

Life is that way. It throws trials at you. You just have to make sure that you're strong enough to deal with them.

We drive in comfortable soothing silence, but I need something to distract me from my thoughts.

I put on the radio and Guns N Roses Sweet Child Of Mine is playing. I smile and feel like crying at the same time, the song hitting close to home. I used to love it so much that a point I couldn't stop listening to it. It became my lullaby for sleep.

"I can see you love 'em Guns N Roses" Jason asks, taking a split second look away from the road to glance at me.

Why do you say that?" I question in a small voice

"Because you're tearing up"

Oh.

I wipe the tears away abruptly, feeling the sticky wet salt water on my fingers. I clear my throat, swallowing the tears that want to follow up, and sit up straight, all while my hand still locked with Jason's.

"It's just a bitter sweet memory. Don't worry about it."

Ronald is the one who introduced me. His type of music was rock and rap. He liked songs that had to do with heavy drums and guitar, and anytime he sung Sweet Child Of Mine, he would use his hands as an imaginary guitar and sing out loud, a grin on his face and his voice an octave higher than what is used in the actual song, so off beat. But yet I loved it anyway. Infact, at a point, he made a tape for me. Which was him singing, and that was the version of Sweet Child of Mine I always listened to.

After his death, I listened to it over and over, and I would cry each time. But at a point I stopped, not because I didn't love him anymore and not because I didn't remember him anymore, but because it was high time I stopped crying, and because I knew that Ronald would want me to be happy.

"Would you mind if we get a bite from Starbites?" He asks and I nod.

"Yes, I'd mind. I have to be home to prepare dinner for the get together we're hosting for Natalie and my mom, so I'd prefer we pass by the grocery store over there" I say, remembering tonight's event

He parks in front of the store a minute after and I get down but he beats me to it

"Are you coming with me?" I ask