Faking Delays

47. Family

Kristeena Abegaile

 

"HAVE YOU ever wondered where your mom is?" I randomly asked matapos mahigop ang kape na inorder ni MJ para sa amin.

Tapos na rin kaming mamili ng mga susuotin. I took a white shirt with shorts na hindi ganun kaikli. Just right, for my liking.

Sandali siyang tumigil sa paginom ng kape niya. Dito kami sa isang coffee shop sa loob ng mall. "Ba't niyo naman po natanong 'yan?" nakangiti niyang tanong.

"Curious ako e. You and your brother never talked about your parents ever since I moved with him. Wala rin akong nakikitang family pictures sa limang buwan ko nang paglilinis sa bahay niya. And I'm sorry if I'm being nosy, but I overheard that she left. Is it true?" I lied. Truth is, sinabi niya 'yon sa akin. That night. When he was drunk and I was... well, I was able.

Napa iwas siya ng tingin. "Dad's away because of his work. Si mommy naman... well, umalis nga raw siya, I don't know. I don't remember. Actually, I don't even know where she is now. 3 years old pa lang ako nun and kuya's just 10 so hindi ko na talaga siya maalala."

"Are you mad?"

Tumingin siya sa akin. "Of mom?" Tumango ako. "No... Yes? I don't know. Ayoko na problemahin ang sarili ko sa mga taong wala naman dito."

Tumango-tango ako. "What's with the sudden curiousity, ate?" amused niyang tanong.

"Wala lang."

"Eh ikaw? You never mentioned your family too."

"Uy, nakwento ko kaya sila sa'yo! Si nanay tsaka si Koko, 'di ba. 'Yung pinapadalhan natin ng pera tuwing sweldo ko. 'Yung nakatira sa Palawan." I sipped on my latte.

She smiled. "Your real family po, ate. Your biological parents and siblings."

I gulped. Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko. "Ay, hala! Anong oras na 'to? Baka hinahanap na tayo ng kuya mo." Tumayo na ako. "Why don't we take these to go?" turo ko sa mga binili niya.

"Ate, you're evading the question." She held my hand.

"What's the question?" I shrugged.

"Your family?" Natahimik kaming dalawa. "Ikaw nauna magtanong ah," she pointed out. "I'm just asking back about your family. And besides, we're friends now. Right?"

Umupo ako. "You know, the truth is that... I don't know where they are. Mom died after dad left. Tapos si lolo... he died after I left," I muttered. "I never had the gut to show my face to the family ever since."

"And are you mad?"

"Of whom?"

She stared. "Of yourself..."

Nabigla ako sa tanong niya. Yes, I blamed myself and everything. But... is that to that extent?

Maybe she's right. Maybe the reason why I'm torturing myself is because until now, hindi ko tanggap na ako ang may kasalanan sa kamalasan ko sa buhay.

But instead of answering, I smiled. "Tara na. Mag gagabi na oh. Ayokong abutan tayo ng dilim sa daan."

Hindi na rin siya nagtanong pa at tumayo na. "Let's go."