Running From Him (ManxMan) ✔️

Chapter 33: Cut Ties

🏃Clark's POV🏃

A small light went back and forth, back and forth, across the ceiling. It looked as if it had its own life, a brain, spirit, desire to move back and forth and back and forth. But it was controlled by me, shifting my phone back and forth and back and forth as the light reflected off of it.

It was a depressing thought, knowing that something appearing to be alive was really just the product of a manipulative movement.

I wonder what meaning that has in my own life.

I look at the phone in my hand, frowning at the lack of notifications. I didn't have any reason to pout, not really.

I hadn't received a message from any of my friends in four days, and it was entirely my fault. Somehow, the moment I lost one, I had lost them all. Each and every one of them pushed away by a cold attitude and a few skillfully placed lies and excuses. They all assumed the same things.

He must be busy

He probably hates that I'm bothering him

He wants to be left alone

And here I was, playing with my phone instead of using it because I did not want to see the absence of their presence on my phone. I didn't want to have to face my actions.

After I had pushed Santiago away, they all had questions to ask. Santiago had probably told them what happened but instead of painting me as a culprit for being so cruel, he painted me as a victim for looking so sad.

They all wished to help and find out what was bothering me, but they could never know. They left me no choice. I did to them what I had done to countless people that had gotten too close during my months on the streets. I made them go.

Without even realizing it, they were perfectly following my mental script and following the stage directions like pros. It did take longer as we had been so close for so long. But, like everyone always, they eventually gave up.

Now, I was left with Meaghan, Ethan, and Kevin.

I sat up from my place on my bed. Lying down no longer appealed to me and I suddenly wanted to move. Sitting still would be far too constricting and the last thing I wanted was to feel more trapped than I already did.

I debated for a second whether I wanted to actually stand up or not but by the time I decided to stay seated, my feet were already moving. Pacing around the room, I continued to think over the past several days.

Work . . . hasn't been much fun. The happiness that I should feel doing something that I enjoy so much was constantly overpowered by the fact that Kevin was around through all of it. Anytime I felt a bit of happiness from my job, Kevin was there to ruin it again.

It was also getting harder to keep my emotions from Meaghan. With all the time we were spending together, I didn't have as many moments to release any sadness before she was back again. Soon, I found the emotions pushing through my happy façade until I was left with cracks large enough for her to notice.

Luckily, she didn't like bringing up these personal topics up at work but soon enough, she would catch on. I only hoped it was later rather than sooner.

I went to turn around and continue my pacing when I felt a vibration against my leg. Looking down, I quickly realized that it was my phone.

"Hello?" I coughed when I heard how tired my voice sounded and repeated the word.

"Clark!" His voice said, sounding incredibly cheery compared to my dull tone. "Hey, it's been too long since we've spoken. I've missed you."

My expression softened considerably when I heard his voice. It was true, we hadn't been talking as much recently. Short and curt text conversations and rare calls had started to become the norm, especially since I had been avoiding him slightly.