Chasing Reality [sequel to Autistic Innocence -J.M]

Chapter 35

Jason's P.O.V

My memory came back.

It's been back for a while.

It actually all kind of hit me one day exactly a week and a half from the day I first came home.

I didn't tell anyone thought because I didn't want to go back to chasing reality yet. I wanted to live in this somewhat perfect world for as long as I could.

Ava isn't mad at me and my kids are actually talking to me again. They're acknowledging my presence without making me feel like the worst human being in the phase of the earth.

Now I've never really been good at this acting thing, but it wasn't that hard to act whenever it had my family involved.

I don't know when I'll 'regain' my memory back yet, but I do know that I'm not ready for that day to occur.

Making things right is still so hard for me and I don't really know quite what to do. I don't want to disappoint them even more than I already have.

I'm a fucked up husband, a fucked up father, and just a fucked up person in general.

I don't deserve them and I know that, but I'm way too selfish to ever let them go. I need them and I try to convince myself that they need me too.

Maybe they don't, and right now I'm just being a burden on them. Maybe they're better off without me. Maybe I'm better of leaving and never coming back into the picture. I think that would be best for everyone.

But I wasn't gonna leave this time.

That's something the old me would have done, the weak me.

I'm stronger now and I'm a new person and I'm not giving up on my family ever again.

They do need me and they do love me and I am appreciated.

They need me just like I need them.

And nothing will ever change that.

(The last six lines. Read them. Learn them. Live by them. You're greater than your past. Keep pushing. <3 )
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"Please d-dad?" Camilla giggles.

"This is definitely your color." Jazzy laughs along with her twin sister.

Right now, the three of us we were currently in the living room and were watching tv together-well I was watching tv- and Camilla was reading a book next to me and jazzy was texting on the other side of her sister when all of a sudden Jazzy gasped when she saw a picture on her phone with how she wanted her nails to be done the next time she had to go to the salon.

Long story short, they wanted to paint my nails.

Jazzy claimed it was because she wanted to see how the paint would go with her skin tone before she paid someone to do it and when I told her to try it on Camilla, they went into a whole rant about how Camilla doesn't like getting her nails done, blah blah blah.

"I already said no. Get away from me you hippie freak." I said as I jokingly push Jazzy's head away from me. (If you know where this is from you are literally the best and I couldn't be more proud 💀😭)

"Daddy! Pleaseeeeee!" Jazzy begged as she tugged on my arm softly.

"Y-yeah! P-pleaseeeee d-dadddd!" Camilla tugged on my other arm.