Chasing Reality [sequel to Autistic Innocence -J.M]

Chapter 45

Jason's P.O.V

Three days.

It's been three days ever since Xander told me what he did.

Three days of my thoughts eating me alive and me feeling as if I don't know what to do with myself.

I don't see him anymore. And when I do, it's only for a split second before he rushes off somewhere else in a hurry as if he's trying to get away from me.

I was sitting in the corner on some steps that were attached to our porch in the backyard when I hear the screen door slide open.

Glancing behind me, I see that it's Ava with a mug in her hands.

I watch her carefully close the door behind her while trying not to spill whatever is in the cup and when she succeeds she slowly shuffled her way over to me.

She coos to herself before slowly making her way down to sit next to me.

Before she says anything, she takes a small sip of what I can now tell is some hot chocolate.

She hums, looking out at our yard before quickly shifting her eyes to me.

"Umm.. Jay Jay o-okay? Y-you been very quiet lately." She mumbles.

I take a breath and rub my hands together, not knowing if I should tell her or not.

But then I realize that to start this new chapter in my life, to keep her in my life, I have to be more open and let her in instead of pushing her away just because I don't want to burden her.

"You remember how I talked to Xander the other day?" I ask her quietly, staring out at the yard and seeing Baby, one of Camilla's dogs laying in the grass panting as if she's smiling making me think she's once again gotten into something she wasn't supposed to.

Avalanna nods and takes another small sip of her hot beverage.

"Well," I deeply inhale. "I f-found out something."

She hums in question.

"W-What? What you find out, please." She looks at me very briefly before staring back down at the mug in her hands and tapping her foot against the wooden steps.

"H-he told me Umm.. he told me that he t-thinks he likes boys or whatever." I literally have to force the fucking words out of my mouth and as soon as they leave, I feel as if I have not only betrayed my son but also that I'm lying to myself since this is the first time I think I've said it out loud.

Avalanna doesn't say anything.

I look up from my hands I was nervously playing with in anticipation of her reaction to see her still looking out at the yard.

"I know," she shrugs as if she's unfazed by what I said and once again bringing the mug up to her lips to take a sip.

Her words completely catch me off guard and leave me confused because I don't think she's heard me correctly or wasn't able to fully comprehend the words I had said.

"N-no Ava. Xander- he likes boys. As in he thinks he might be gay or something." I try to help her understand more easily.

"Ava knows." She says before finally meeting my confused gaze.

"W-What? What do you mean?" I ask her quietly.

She just puffs out some air from her slightly chubby cheeks and groans.

"Ava knows her babies, please. Ava sees the way they act and I know my babies, remember?" She sighs. "Ava sees Xander and how he behaves. I take notes and notice the s-signs. Xander does like boys and Xander likes to b-be with mommy when I paint nails. And Camilla and Jazzy too please. Likes to b-be with us on girl days." She explains.